I had the hiccups when I wrote this.....

Welp, it's happened. 10 pounds off in 18 days.
Now the tricks keeping it off and losing more.

August 7th, 2010 will be the One Year Anniversary of my new home. One Year and it took us 3 months to rehab it enough it pronounce it livable. We've been living here 7 months already. It still doesn't feel like home to me. It feels sort of, like an aquaintance as opposed to a friend. Though, I haven't lived here 17 years....yet.
Don't get me wrong, it's a good house. It's 92 years old and still kickin', but we're still in a business relationship.

That's how I think I'll feel in my new body, too.

Think about it, I've lived in this body for 18 years. Getting a new birthday suit is gonna be weird. I mean, already I'm checked out by complete strangers/ex con's, (see July 22nd 2010 entry) how irresistible am I going to be when I'm "attractive"?
Most likely it won't be that different, I'm still me. The only thing changing is my pants.
I read Jenette Fulda's blog "Half of Me" at Pastaqueen.com and I read her book "Half-Assed" before the blog and she's retained normality. She hasn't gone off the deep end and started stripping or dressing like Miley Cyrus (OOOO! BURN!) she's maintained being herself just healthier. Now there's a role model, kiddies. Now I'm not saying I'm going to be a creepy stalker chick and mimick everything she does but, I'm going to try and maintain the same old Sarah. Not the "Fat Girl" or the "Fat Friend" but the REAL DEAL Sarah.
I'll always have the Fat Girl, though. And I might always be the Fat Friend, which sucks because when you're the Fat Friend people think that you have to act like the Fat Friend which means whenever they say something like "What should we do now?" you're supposed to either suggest food or lazing around. Same thing with the Fat Girl, you're supposed to get the Double Bacon Cheesy Cheeseburger not the Grilled Chicken Salad. And if you get the aforementioned salad, the cashier assumes you're on a diet. That's happened way too many times than I want to remember.
Anyway, the point is, I'll never stop rocking the Real Me.
I'm too awesome.

Here we go! Monday is just a few hours away...

Okie Dokie everybody, tomorrow is the big day!! :) I'm soo excited! And I just can't hide it!
But, I should confess that I'm also scared. Of what? a weight loss program? No. I'm scared of the future. What if I DON'T lose this weight? What if I end up failing and giving up?
Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm NOT going to think this way. You know why? because that's just the part of me that doesn't want to succeed. The part of me that told me I was "healthy" at 250. I'm not that part of me anymore. We'll call that part of me "Grendol". Grendol doesn't want me to be happy, or to be healthy. Grendol hates it when I recieve compliments for doing something I've always wanted to do like getting a freelance writer job. Grendol above all HATES CHANGE. When I eat a carrot, Grendol gets mad because I would've usually gone for the carrot cake. In order to survive this weight battle and ultimately win, I must be like Beowulf.
I MUST KILL GRENDOL!!!

Yeah, I compared myself to Beowulf. Grendol's freaking out because that's something I've always wanted to do. It keeps telling me to "Erase! Erase! Erase!" but, I'm not gonna. I'm too hyped up on my excitement about tomorrow and my knowing that by July 7th, 2010 I WILL BE 170 LBS! I WILL BE THE REAL ME!!
For soo many years I've been depriving myself of the life and body I've always wanted, I've been hiding in the layers of fat but no more.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new week, and the start of a new life. If I can make it through this week, I can make it through this month, and this year.

Monday is a whole chance to try again.

Sarah

Inches gone, pounds on!

Well, I must say, Happy Belated 1 Year Anniversary to me!! *confetti in the air*
And, I need to appologize for not logging in earlier. The scale broke and I didn't know my weight until it was fixed yesterday. The reading was not good.

238.9 lbs.

And that's even after I watched what I ate even more carefully than usual! But, thanks to My_So_Called_Life, I was able to find a well illustrated book by Jillian Michael's that told me to "Take your measurements before you take your weight.." something I wasn't so diligent on doing. I've lost one inch in my abdomen. I haven't really been able to do that much exercising besides jogging due to the fact that I work, work, work, work, WORK all the time.
I run up stars, I run down stairs, I vigorously paint a door, I lift 5 gallons of gasoline, I run from a protective bee, etc. I'm always moving around or doing some kind of muscle building thinga-ma-bob.
But, On Wednesday, I'll take a trip up to see Chicago, and I'll be getting a lot of walking in that way. It's 4 miles to Navy Pier from our hotel and I don't think we're driving 4 miles in a crowded city. That's how French women stay so thin, you know. They walk everydangwhere!
Nevertheless, even though I've gained a few pounds I feel great about the inches gone. It reallys makes me think I CAN get down to 200 pounds by the end of this year.
That's only 1,2,3,..4 months away. If I can average 5 pounds gone every month, I'll be good.

I'm really feeling positive right now. But, I've also got that view of reality,too. I might not be 200 but, if I can even just be in the 'teens I'll be so happy.

Thanks again to My_So_Called_Life (yearning2findme.blogspot.com) for setting me back on the path to sanity.

Sarah

P.S. I performed an at home Brazillian Wax a couple days ago. Not as painful as I thought it would be, and very appealing now.