Dear Whole Foods,
Now, I know you cater primarily to the people who want to eat organically and save the Earth. That's absolutely fine. But, is there any way you could filter out the crazies?
Listen, I'm an understanding person, I will judge a book by it's cover from time to time but, I didn't need a cover for the folks down at your store.
For instance, an Edward Cullen-esk young man in a turban stopping an entire convoy of shopping carts so that he could Worship in the middle of our aisle? Really? is that acceptable? Or, better yet, the stupid Ladies who go there after their morning jog and decide that it's okay to get their sweaty hands all over the boxes they're not going to even consider buying? Or Jason, my cashier who likes to end my shopping experience with probing little questions like,
"Philanthropical or Charitable? are they the same?"
To which I want to reply:
Listen you hemp-lovin' Hippie! I'm not getting into a stupid debate with you over words! And yeah, they are the same thing. Shut up and scan.
And, after you say something like, Philanthropical and Charitable are vitually the exact same thing, He'll roll his eyes and grab your reusable bags and bag each and every item S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E-L-Y! NO JOKE! "Why is my soy milk in it's own bag? and my goat's milk and zucchini is over here, and my mango has it's own bag? What?" Ever heard of condensing? obviously not.
Oi Ca vah! I know this isn't a weight loss entry but, those people are making me wretch.
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