I had the hiccups when I wrote this.....

Welp, it's happened. 10 pounds off in 18 days.
Now the tricks keeping it off and losing more.

August 7th, 2010 will be the One Year Anniversary of my new home. One Year and it took us 3 months to rehab it enough it pronounce it livable. We've been living here 7 months already. It still doesn't feel like home to me. It feels sort of, like an aquaintance as opposed to a friend. Though, I haven't lived here 17 years....yet.
Don't get me wrong, it's a good house. It's 92 years old and still kickin', but we're still in a business relationship.

That's how I think I'll feel in my new body, too.

Think about it, I've lived in this body for 18 years. Getting a new birthday suit is gonna be weird. I mean, already I'm checked out by complete strangers/ex con's, (see July 22nd 2010 entry) how irresistible am I going to be when I'm "attractive"?
Most likely it won't be that different, I'm still me. The only thing changing is my pants.
I read Jenette Fulda's blog "Half of Me" at Pastaqueen.com and I read her book "Half-Assed" before the blog and she's retained normality. She hasn't gone off the deep end and started stripping or dressing like Miley Cyrus (OOOO! BURN!) she's maintained being herself just healthier. Now there's a role model, kiddies. Now I'm not saying I'm going to be a creepy stalker chick and mimick everything she does but, I'm going to try and maintain the same old Sarah. Not the "Fat Girl" or the "Fat Friend" but the REAL DEAL Sarah.
I'll always have the Fat Girl, though. And I might always be the Fat Friend, which sucks because when you're the Fat Friend people think that you have to act like the Fat Friend which means whenever they say something like "What should we do now?" you're supposed to either suggest food or lazing around. Same thing with the Fat Girl, you're supposed to get the Double Bacon Cheesy Cheeseburger not the Grilled Chicken Salad. And if you get the aforementioned salad, the cashier assumes you're on a diet. That's happened way too many times than I want to remember.
Anyway, the point is, I'll never stop rocking the Real Me.
I'm too awesome.

Lean Cuisine Love Affair: Afternoon Delight

Life can get discouraging and send you a lot of bitches to deal with but, you've gotta keep your head up.

Which is hard to do with a caffeine headache that won't go away.

Today I got up at 4:10 AM and waited for my sister to arrive at 5 AM so that we could go jogging/walking briskly at the high school track. It was fun, and we made a pact to lose 10 to 15 pounds by August 14th with an ultimate goal of 50 to 60 pounds down by Halloween. I can feel the electricity in the air! Meanwhile, I sit around at home and have "tiny binges" on stuff like, Cheeseburger Mac n' Cheese. I call them "tiny binges" because it's not what I usually do where I shove handfuls of cookies and potato chips down my throat at a time until my stomach cringes from maximum overload. No, my T.B.'s are more modest than that, it's just little bites of stuff I shouldn't eat.

I've been having some severe body issues, y'all. I see myself as a giant, repulsive blob that blobs around everywhere leaving it's blob residue. Really, I feel like BOB from "Monsters Vs. Aliens" or that worm thingy from "Dune" or Jabba the Hutt, but I really didn't want to use that one. It's so cliche. Like, I don't know how I can still use my legs. I see people weighing less than me using HoveRound's and Rascals and I think "What am I? a friggin' miracle or somethin'?" I witnessed this lady who was maybe 180-200 pounds get out of her Buick and waddle over to the nearest motorized cart and drive off! she was like, 50 years old! she didn't have a handicapped sticker, she didn't have any noticeable breathing problems, and yet SHE HAS TO RIDE ONE OF THOSE THINGS!! what gets me more is that she was taller than me. How the whatsit?! it baffles my wee mind. I can't think of nothin' no how after I see things like that. Like when you see a perfectly fine 6 year old riding in a stroller, your mind just sort of, dies for a second. It flatlines completely.

Anyway, I guess I should stop dwelling on this crap and move on to a more important topic, no not my secret crush on George Decay, but my love for all things Lean Cuisine! (I'll bet you weren't guessing that!)

Yes, it's true. LC and I are having a wild edible affair! I eat it out every night. heh heh, sexual innuendos are fun.

The way it feels in my mouth, mmm! and the portions! they're sooo big! (I apologize if you're eating a Lean Cuisine while reading this.)

Okay, for you I'll stop with the innuendos. But only for now.

What I really like about them is the fact that I can eat a tray of chicken fried rice and only consume 220 calories. It's awesome, and they're ready in minutes! for lunch today I ate their Macaroni n' Cheese and it was delish. I loved it long time! (Listen, I'm sorry alright?!) I didn't feel deprived one bit, which is how I usually feel when eating premade diet food stuffs.

I think I may have found my perfect diet.

Slimfast in the morning, A little "afternoon delight" with Lean Cuisine, and dinner is Healthy Choice or something like that.

Yeah, I didn't even apologize for that last remark you know why? because I want the world to know how good it is for me!

Commence lawsuit filed by Lean Cuisine.

P.S. The security guard at my local Aldi's looks like Yul Brynner. I just think that should be noted.

A Metaphor Phor Me

I've been waiting for a package for over 2 years now. No, it's not my latin lover, Raul, finally here from Brazil with his oiled up abs and biceps-*ahem*-No, It's my 16th birthday present and I still don't know what it is. It's been "on it's way" for 2 years, I'm begining to think it's not coming.

That's my metaphor.

I've been seriously trying to lose weight for over 2 years and it stills isn't here. I feel like Nero waiting for Spock to arrive. I don't know how it's going to get here or when it's going to get here but I know that one day it will be here. I'm hoping it arrives before Halloween because I want to go as Gene Simmons from KISS's album "Dressed to Kill" and I know it won't look as good if I'm 57 pounds overweight. I've got slim my thighs, my arms, my tummy. And I've got to let my hair grow out and not cut it off like I always do.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not wasting my time by setting goals like this? I mean, really it only sets me up for potential failure. I know a lot of failure has to do with what you let slip and so far, I've done pretty good. I'm 230.4 this morning. My goal for the end of this month is to be in the low 220's. Let's go me!!

In other none me-being-fat news, I went to a Cardinals game on the 18th (we swept the Dodgers!! woo!) and got sunburned. AND checked out! yeah, I actually stood there mouth agape. I'm just glad I was able to avoid being hit by the golf cart ambulance that went cruising past.

I've seriously got to start asking for numbers from now on. He stopped, looked from head to toe than back up and rubbed his hands together...menacingly. Okay, maybe he was an escaped convict panning on making me his next victim. Either way, I was flattered. So, potential Ex-Con, if you're reading this, thank you for at least making me feel sexy and irresistible for a second.

Here we go! off and running!

Here I sit, 4 pounds down. Wow! I feel magnificent! let me dance for you!
4 pounds in one week is amazing to me. I feel like a million bucks.
234.2 was the scales reading this morning. If my scale was a person, I'd be hugging it right now non-stop until it passed out from lack of air.
I still can't feel any difference in my pants or shirts or anything like that. My tummy still announces it's self. I'm happy, though. Yay, me!

1 pound down!

Yes, it's true, I've lost 1 whole pound since I started 2 days ago!!
ha ha ha ha! They say "Don't rest on your laurels" but, I can't help it. I haven't felt this good in ages. I feel lighter and when I go to bed, no more bloated gut causing bad dreams and tears. Today also marks the fact that I've been 18 for a week, and I've yet to get any cigarettes or tattoos! even though, for a split second I thought "A tattoo of my beginning weight and my end weight would be cool. A constant reminder of the battle I'm winning."
But, I don't know. Maybe. Yesterday I recieved a message from my nosy older sister, M, who took a joke seriously. Dang. Sometimes I contemplate deleting my Facebook account and just vanishing from the "Real World" to make my life easier. I talk to boys, I get a call from one of my sisters telling me I'm a slut. I write on a friends wall "Yeah, maybe now that I'm 18 I'll start smoking! lololol!" I get a call from one of my sisters telling me that I'm an idiot for even considering it. I wish they'd realize that I'm a hell of a lot smarter than them and I would never do anything as stupid as what they've done. They're complete and total morons!
A, M, and L all cause problems for me. They will not let me do anything on my own because they think I'll mess up like they did. I won't! I unlike them, realize that for every bad choice there's a consequence. Ergh! I don't know what to do.

Yay for the poundage loss!! We're on our way!

Sarah xo

One day strong

Well, you'll be glad to know that I started my dieting on the 12th and I'm doing things a bit differently.
Last time, I made everything I ate on the stovetop or in the oven or in the crockpot.
This caused problems as there's a big temptation to make whatever you feel like eating instead of what you should eat.
So, I bought some frozen meals. I felt so trendy! this way it's what I've got to eat, so there's no room for my compromising it.
I bought some fruit popsicles as a dessert substitute and some other low cal fruit things for desserts.
What I figure is if it's already made, it's easier and that's what I think will work for me. No temptation. I'm still going to make some of my lighter meals and freeze them but for now, smooth sailing. I've stocked up for at least 2 weeks. Hopefully, if I make one light meal a day I'll have enough at the end of my frozen meal selection.
I've got a good feeling about this one!

Sarah

I've failed....

Here it is, July 7th 2010 and I am NOT 170 pounds. Hell No, I'm still 230 something.
Today has been a somewhat shitty day. My Mother and my little brother have been giving me a whole bunch of crap. Not about the unmet goal but just in general shit.
For example, I spent 5 hours working in the kitchen and on my feet the entire time Mom spends 2 hours outside sitting down on the grass mostly and when I told her what I'd like to have for my birthday dinner she complained and said "I know it's your birthday but, we had what you wanted for breakfast can't we have what I want for once?"
SERIOUSLY?!?! We do that every single day!!! I wanted to shout "NO! I HATE TACO BELL!!" but instead she whined and played the martyr soooo well that she ended up getting what she wanted. Damn I wish I had my own car or could even drive.
I want so very badly to just go and cry but, I can't.
Something I should've informed you all of is the depression I've been dealing with for the past couple of months. The biggest is that friendships I thought were everlasting are falling apart and I'm getting blamed for it. And people I thought actually liked me were using me. I feel like a tool. I woke up this morning and immediatly sunk because I haven't accomplished what I want SOOOOOOO badly to accomplish. Which is why I'm saying, And I want to stress this as much as possible I WILL BE 170 POUNDS BY HALLOWEEN OR SO FUCKING HELP ME I'M GOING TO GIVE UP ENTIRELY!!
Why can't I do this?!? I WANT IT SO BADLY I WANT TO TASTE FREEDOM!! but I'm stuck. NOT ANYMORE. I'M BREAKING OUT. STARTING JULY 12th I AM ON MY WAY TO SKINNY JEANS!!

Unparalleled Determination vs. Fat

I've got to do this, I can't keep saying I'm going to and never materializing that goal. I pray that nothing is thrown in the way of this endeavor, that this will be the last time I'm anywhere near the 200's. And it will be.
My desire to lose weight is stronger than ever and it's not just because I'm crushing on "Matt" either. It's because I'm fed up with all the useless excuses, I'm the one in control of my own life. I'm going to take all the control I can, it's my life and I don't want to live it being fat. I don't want to worry about how many stairs I'll have to walk up and whether or not I'll be able to make it without huffing and puffing, I want to look at them and say "It's only 6 flights. I'll take the stairs."
I'm going to turn 18 and I don't want to open the door to life, cowering and nervous.
No, I want to throw the door open, stare life right in the eye and say:

"Bring It."

Nothing is stopping this. My willpower is stronger than steel. I'm worth the time, I'm worth the energy. I deserve this. This is NOT going to fail, This is NOT going to flop, and I will NOT accept any excuses I choose to use. Not anymore. From now on, I'm going to look in the mirror and say:
"You deserve this. You've wanted it your whole life. You HATE BEING FAT, so get up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Quit talkin' and start walkin'. Show the world what you do with Lemons and make the best Gosh Darn lemonade you've ever tasted. Enough is enough. Screw anyone who says you can't because YOU CAN."

Sarah

Tears from fears

Okay, I don't think I mentioned that I was on camera like, 6 times at the Cards Rally on the 12th. If you have FSN Midwest, you may have seen me. Several times. Have no fear, I am not invading the airwaves just yet.

Last night, a few minutes before bed, I started crying. I don't know what brought it on but, it just happened. The entire time in my head I was screaming "I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" but I have no idea how this came about. I wasn't thinking about weight loss, I was actually thinking about Saturday Night Live's special. So, I did some research, not extensively, just some to make this understandable. Apparently, because I am an emotional eater, when I'm peeling off pounds I'm also revealing the emotions hidden underneath. That also explains why I'm getting choked up now whenever I speak of my weight where as before, I wouldn't have flinched. But, more and more, I find myself with my head in my hands weeping bitterly at the idea of being fat forever. I wonder how long this is going to go on? I feel pathetic and out of control when these things happen. Same thing, I'm embarassed when my Dad comes downstairs and sees me working out especially when Jillian Michaels says something like, "Do you want to be skinny?" because I don't want people to think I'm doing this for vain reasons alone. Essentially, yes, I'd rather be drop dead gorgeous but not at the risk of not being able to do anything. I don't want to be handed some guys number and not be able to grasp it because I'm so weak and frail. That would defeat the purpose.

I lack a lot of self-confidence. I've never asked anyone to do anything because, I always think like, "Sarah, you're annoying them. Just go away." and that's the way I've been for the majority of my teenage life. I could've had a boyfriend at age 13 but, I wasn't going to talk to him and I wasn't going to stay and listen when he talked to me because I felt like I was in his way. It wasn't until months after he'd moved that a friend said "You know, I'm surprised nothing happened between you two. He always talked about you and made it pretty clear he thought you were cute. He never said anything to you?"
All I thought was, "Oh, so that's why he'd say stuff like 'Oo! Sarah! be on my team!' or 'Can I sit next to you? I really like talking to you.'"
I always thought it was pity. No one really hung out with me exclusively, so anyone who did I assumed felt sorry for me and was coming over to show pity on me.

I feel-if you'll all bear with me- that getting some of these feelings out will help me maintain more level headness throughout the day.
If you don't mind reading while I get some out on paper, Actually, you technically don't HAVE to read this. Do whatever you like, bro.
Anyway, something that's been bothering me for about 3 years now is, and I'm going to feel super weird admitting this, I've never had a serious relationship with a guy. I've had flings and just um, weird relationships but, no guy besides my father has ever said "I love you" or has even mentioned that they like me. Really, even my Dad hasn't said that. I've always felt (and most likely was) like the second option. Whenever a guy has said anything to me, I've felt used. This stems from the fact that every guy that I've had a crush on has liked my sisters. Heck, one guy even rated them for me! I was his dead last choice. It made me feel worthless and alone, it gave me several tear stained diary pages. I have never recieved a compliment from a guy, never. Not for anything I've done. How sad is that? I say prayers on days when I need a pick me up for any teeny tiny sign that somebody of the opposite sex finds me attractive. I've had girls say they'd become a lesbian for me, some have even offered to get a sex change so we can legally wed, and while I find it all very nice and loyal sounding (and yes, creepy) it stills doesn't fill that gap left from men. It's almost like I have a quota for compliments and it's never filled. My sister gets compliments alot, and she is pretty but, I wish I could see what that feels like. I've always felt like the ugly sister whenever our family goes out to parties. No one talks to me, if they do it's extreme small talk i.e. last Christmas' "conversation" with my Aunt Cindy:

Aunt Cindy: How's that snow for you?
Me: I know, it's surprising how bitterly cold it is and not even enough to go sledding in.
Aunt Cindy: Well, that's weather for you.

End of exchange. She literally left as I was ending my sentence.
Maybe I'm too sensitive, maybe I'm too annoying, maybe I'm not interesting enough. I don't know. I probably blather on and on. Not very appealing in a person, I guess.

Another big problem is, I'm really perverted. No, no I am not lying. I can make strippers stand in shock and maybe even Hugh Hefner blush. I've got a very dirty, dirty mind. Could this also be running guys off? being perverted kind of conflicts the fact that I'm a romantic. I'd love a Colonel Brandon or an Edward Ferris or a yummy Mr. Darcy! meeow! get your Derby in this Shire, baby! *ahem* the worst part about being perverted as I am is, not being in total control of it at all times. I want a man to come and sweep me off my feet, declare that he's only had feelings for me and no one woman could possibly fill the position. He only has eyes for me. But instead of him taking me to a picnic while he listens to my day, I'd rather he'd take me to his place or a hotel and we get it on! I've already accepted the fact that the guy I marry will have to like sex. And random make outs on random couches. but where oh where can I find a man who'll be my sweet Romeo and my Bedroom Beast(<- sorry you had to read that) a man who'll truly love only me? not just like like like me but, really want to work with me to find compromises and to really want to spend his time with me. Notice, I'm not saying ALL his time. That because I'm cat like. Too much time (more than 3 hours) of my undivided attention is exhausting and I have secretive things I want to do. Naturally, I assume a guy will feel the same way. It's like how it is with my family, I love them with every single molecule in my body, but sometimes you just need some alone time. Just because I'm not spending every waking minute with them doesn't mean I don't love them.
I don't know, maybe I'm a guys worst nightmare brought to life.
I just wish I knew.....They really should come up with a website that was written by guys giving their gosh darn honest opinion. And it should be categorized based on problems girls are facing with their guys.

Every morning, I wake up and begin singing in my head "Rebel Prince" by Rufus Wainwright because, that's how I feel.

Where is my Rebel Prince?




Sarah

One for the ages...

So, yesterday I went to the Cardinals Opening Day Rally and well, I felt really ugly and like a walking fart around all the Lumiere Place showgirls. Then, I waltzed over to the Ballpark Village and heard my new favorite cover band "Trixie Delight" (trixiedelight.com) playing Journey's song "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'".
Anyway, I was so revved by this band's choice of songs that I could barely contain myself when they started playing "I wanna rock n' roll all night (and party everyday)" right after the Journey song, I began screaming woo's and shouting yeah, and raising my fist in the Rock symbol. Well, I was singing along with "Hella Good" by No Doubt and noticed the drummer of the band LOOKING RIGHT AT ME like, we made eye contact! at first I thought "Okay, he's thinking 'wow, what a confident young lady that's head banging right now' and probably thinks I'm some kind of weird chick." but, he stared right at me through the next song "I love Rock n' Roll" by Joan Jett that I REALLY got into I mean, oh hot damn that's my for real jam! anyway, he was looking right at me again and even cracked a small smile. Now I began to think again "Okay, he's amused at my Bingo Arm flapping around as I shake my fist." THEN when they stepped off the stage, he walked half way off, stopped, turned, made eye contact with me again, smiled, and walked off completely. I still doubt that the guy thought I was attractive, I think he was mainly thinking something along the lines of "Wow, she's a dedicated rock fan..." but, I wish I knew what it means when a guy does stuff like that. And he was a bombcuss drummer, too! they covered Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" and I mean, WOW! what a fantastic job! their guitarist, too, was like, a friggin' prodigy on that thing! man, I hope they put out CDs. But, the drummer made me feel....weird. If he did like me, whoa I'm honored, but if he didn't, not really surprised. I wish I had stayed after the concert but, I was losing my voice and my sister was getting heat stroke sooo pretty much we decided to amscray. But, if I HAD stayed afterwards would he have..done anything? probably not. I mean, about half way through my time there a giant, tall, and big dude came and stood right in front of me swallowing my body whole. But, after he left I got to see that drummer guy again! I think his name was Nathan. Not sure. I'll have to go look that up on trixiedelight.com but, do you know how awesome that would make me feel right now? if that drummer dude thought I was cute?
So today was Day 2 of the challenge and I'm still excited. But, I didn't go to bed last night until almost 9:30PM and when my alarm went off at 4:15AM I woke up but was never awake enough to do much besides sit up and blink. I didn't fully get going until 6:31AM when I finally got downstairs and started workin' it out.
I'm feeling pretty good right now, save for the fact that my Mom is quite frankly a B-word to the hardest core you can reach. Seriously, every single day she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and ends up screwing up everyone elses day because she's sooo freaking weird! right now she's all offended that we didn't wait an extra 30 minutes for her before eating breakfast and she's making us all pay by having us do all the garden work that would be done normally by a machine by hand because she wants us to fully understand how upset at us she is. Nevermind the fact that we even thought about her to make her breakfast exactly the way she wants it, no, we are horrible human beings who should be whipped.
OI. It's times like these I wish I had someplace to escape to like, a magic pod that would give me extra money to spend and send me to the mall. Or Busch Stadium. Anyplace but here! not where she's at.
Erg. I'm really, really frustrated right now. I really, really don't want to work with her.
Man, I hope that I get to 165 before my birthday. I need this. I need to know that I'm not just always going to screw up. I want to finally succeed at something that isn't totally lame like, changing a babies diaper while on the phone. I want to do something phenomenal. I've been trying to lose weight for like, 8 years now. I've been put on almost every diet known to man, I've worked out for 2 hours every 4 hours, I've eaten nothing but salads for 2 weeks. I want all of this to amount to something. I want to not continually battle this hardcore, I want to have the upperhand for once. Even if it's just for a year, I want to say that at one point in my life, I succeeded at something I actually wanted.
This fat isn't me, and until I lose it I'll never be who I really am. I'm not the girl who cowers in the corner at the mention of a pool party, I'm not the girl who cries in the dressing room when a size 22 doesn't fit anymore, I'm not the girl who's afraid of dancing in public for fear her gelatinous blob body might gross other people out when it shakes. I'm none of those things, I'm Sarah. I love swimming, I love to clothes shop, and I love to dance whenever the mood strikes me. I'm caged right now, I'm stuck in a hole that I have to dig out of using only my hands as a shovel. It's going to be hard, but I want to taste that freedom again! when I was younger, before I was put on my very first diet at age 9, I remember wearing a hot pink and neon purple bathing suit to a slumber party/ pool party and not giving a darn. I remember getting up on the stage at church and not being afraid to shake what my mother gave me to the tune of "I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N" and belt it out loud, too. I remember not even thinking about my weight until my mother said "Hey, Sarah, you're 10 pounds over your limit! that's not acceptable." and put me and my older sister on the Atkins' diet because it worked so good for my Aunt, Cousin, and Grandparents. Then I remember stepping on the scale, having lost 3 pounds and my family saying "Good job." The next scene is terrible, driving on our way to VBS at 7 in the morning so we could have our room set up by 10 and being handed a Crosan'wich and hashcrowns that had to be wolfed down between the Burger King and Church, which was about 5 to 7 minutes away. I haven't been under 150 since. Heck! I haven't been under 200 since my 12th birthday. This kind of life blows chunks everywhere, you only get vague glimpses of your old self. Your real self. I want to look in the mirror every morning and see my real self, not the cage my real self has lived in for the past 9 years.
All of that will change in the coming weeks. It has to, life is too short to waste fighting! I can do it, I will do it, because I'VE GOT TO DO IT.
No more excuses! No more lies! No more fear! No more fatness! and that's my final word. You readers, will now only see me DEcrease instead of INcrease.

I promise you this.

Sarah

A Really Long Entry Pt. 2

Okay, continuing the no internet blog writing. I filled up my first file, so this is a continuation of my last entry. I'm feeling kind of...sick. It's like my stomach is dancing inside of me and on top of that I haven't been hungry at all today. Except for when I woke up but, I've been full since then. Wow, 223 lbs! I never thought I'd get this low in one month. I am sooo happy happy! Welp, nightie night. Sweet dreams, I'm off to bed. Can't wait to weigh in tomorrow!!

222.2 lbs. What a glorious sight to behold! I love my scale! :) Anyway, today I gave myself a makeover. Well, not a huge one just a little more attention than usual. I gave myself a salon style blow drying, you know the kind that makes your hair soft and poofy, waxed my stache and unibrow, put on a nice lip moisturizer, and finished up the whole ordeal with some lip glaze. I look beautiful if I do say so myself!

221.6 lbs this morning. So far I've lost a pound a day. Yeppers. It's pretty coolio, my mom and sister have both said that you can tell I've lost weight. Mmmm, compliments!
PRIVATE MOMENT PLEASE!!!
Alright people, explain to me why I'm horny all of a sudden? I need an explanation for this!
It's driving me nuts because I'm riding around with my mom thinking "I can have sex with that guy. I can have sex with that guy, too. And that guy!" it's really getting me down down down! I feel like a perv-O also because I've adopted a "Bang 'em n' Leave 'em" policy. Who am I? Tiger Woods? (yuk yuk yuk. I know it's old.) Anyway, thanks for taking that moment to listen. This has been another Private Moment. Brought to you by: Viagra, "if you can't get your wang to stand at attention, Viagra can take it to a whole 'nother dimension."

220.6 lbs! I'm almost out of the 20's! soon I'll be in the teens! and how amazing will THAT be?! I'll tell you, FRIGGIN' amazing. *Sigh* Well, after I lose this weight Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll be blogging about something else. What? I'll tell you 'what', my attempts to snag Shaun "Red Zeppelin" White (RUN SHAUN RUN!!! *screams of terror*) bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! nobody will be safe from the insanely horny libido of SARAH!!! *dramatic opera music begins playing* speaking of dramatic opera music playing, has anyone else seen those SUPER dramatized National Guard commercials they play before the movie? Oh my gosh, they start out cool but eventually you're like, "Come on! ARMY doesn't make this long of a commercial! don't tell me THIS is the movie I came to see!" But, I love our soldiers, airmen, marines, and sailors. They've got a lot more bravery than I do. Protectors of Liberty, Freedom, and citizens of the United States of America, Rock, Rock ON!

219.8 lbs! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! *girlish squeal* I'm in the teens I'm in the teens! I can't believe this! I'm soooooo happy grandpappy!!
But, in other news, I feel really weird because I'm only hungry in the morning and at dinner. I'm not snackish and I'm not hungry at lunch. I actually feel so full that I feel as if I'll explode when I eat another bite. And I'm not eating big breakfasts, one egg and 3 slices of turkey bacon. I don't know what to do.

219.0! I feel like an accomplishment. I feel so awesome and spectacular. Only, I'm not poo-ing again. :( I need to do something about that. BUT! here's some fabulous news! last night we stayed up late watching "Looney Tunes" and a bag of peanut M&M's sat RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME the entire night and I didn't eat a one! I've conquered my weakness! I've slayed the sweet tooth! I AM IRON MAN! na na na na na naa naan naan na! Okay, maybe I'm not Iron Man. But I feel awesome that I've done that.
I jumproped today for 7 minutes. I haven't jumproped in months, even then it wasn't for 7 minutes. OKAY! I almost forgot! yesterday while at Wal*Mart I purchased the latest issue of "Fitness" magazine and let me tell YOU! they showed me tons of moves to work on my tummy and Bingo Arm, and introduced me to the love of my life, "So you think you can dance: Cardio Funk" DVD that sounds so awesome it's going to implode all over the magazine!! I'll have to rent that from the library OR knuckle down and buy it. Another thing is this, I applied at my favorite fashion store "Cato's" and I'm hoping I'm hired at this one right by me because it's less than 500 feet from a "Club Fitness" and my thinking is this: If I am hired at said Cato's, I can maybe stay an hour after and exercise at the gym! and since I can't go in before noon (due to school) I can still do my "SYTYCD: Cardio Funk" in the morning! hooray!
Well, anyway schmole's it sounds good to me. And if I work on my birthday I can go waltzing into my work 70 pounds lighter saying "Happy Birthday to Sexy me! Happy Birthday to Sexy me! Happy Birthday to Super Sexy Meeee! Happy Birthday to Sexy Me! I'm still hor-neeeee!"
Yep. Then after I'm 170 lbs. I'll begin my decline to 145 and be (if it's possible) even sexier! I know what you're thinking "You're the least sexy person I know! you smell like B.O. and have ketchup stains all over your shirt!"
But, I protest, those are Sexy ketchup stains! meeow! (I'm really sorry! I'm not in total control of this entry!)
Anyhoo, sorry you were sexually harassed by me again. I'll inform the police for you.

220.4 lbs. Aye Caramba! what did I do wrong? it's not muscle because I measured myself and I'm still the same. What to do? What to do? I requested the "SYTYCD: Cardio Funk" from ye olde Library. I can't wait 'til it arrives! I want to dance! DANCE!

Sorry guys it's been a few days since I last checked in. I'm 219.2 lbs. Last I checked in I was 220.4 so, I've gone down. Tomorrow is the first of March and I'm excited to start my new 4 month weight loss plan. Hopefully I'll have a lower number to write down on the calendar.

And I did! 218.6 lbs! woot! my goal is 205 at the end of this month AND I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO ACCOMPLISH SAID TASK. And I ain't lyin'! I'm hoping my SYTYCD DVD comes in tomorrow. I want to dance my lil' pants off.

Well, sorry blog readers, I haven't written in since the 5 th and it is now St. Patrick's Day.
Happy Saint Patty's Day!!
Here's what I've been doing:
1st, SYTYCD: Cardio Funk AND Tone n' Groove was fun and awesome, I loved learning all the dance moves and then trying them out in the "Real world" but it was $17 for one DVD. I don't want to spend that much just yet. Plus it was only 3 workouts and I'd rather pay $17 for a DVD with say, 6 or 7 workouts.
Anyway, here's what ended up happening, my local Wal*Mart was having a sale on exercise DVD's and after digging through all the Pussycat Doll Workout DVD's I finally found one worth doing! Biggest Loser: Cardio Max! then, since it was a sale, I bought Power Sculpt, Weight loss Yoga, the Firm 500 calorie workout, and Biggest Loser: LAST CHANCE workout.
They are all very awesome, at the end you feel worked out but not soo exhausted that you can't lace up your own boots. Best $30 I ever spent.
The Firm 500 calorie workout is FUN! but, it requires good co-ordination which I don't feature so I end up doing weird versions of what they're doing. It's awesome.
The 4 Biggest Loser DVD's I own are fabulous. I love telling people that I got up and trained with Bob Harper or I just finished working out with Jillian Michaels. It makes you feel like you can accomplish this goal but, on that note, for some reason today I feel like I'm just kidding myself about this 205 at the end of March. I think it's because I'm 222.0 :(. I've got 14 days left in this month, I can work hard and lose at least 10. That would be glorious. From this moment forward I'm going to be more concious about what I'm eating.
Hopefully, next time I log in, I'll be at least 210.
Good morning, it is April 12th, 2010 and well, I didn't reach my goal for March. However, I'm embarking on a challenge that I encourage you to do as well!
See, it's 13 weeks until my 18th birthday (whoopwhoop) and I'm going to see how much weight I can lose in 12 weeks by doing this routine:
Monday
BL(Biggest Loser) Last Chance Workout
CardioMax

Tuesday
BL Last Chance Workout
500 Calorie Workout

Wednesday
BL Last Chance Workout
CardioMax
Powersculpt

Thursday
BL Last Chance Workout
500 calorie workout
Powersculpt

Friday
BL Last Chance Workout
500 calorie workout
CardioMax Level 2

Saturday
BL Last Chance Workout
(Slot open for whatever I feel like doing)

Yeppers, that's my goal. See, my "Biggest Loser: Last Chance Workout" says that I can drop 30 pounds in 6 weeks. Hubba-wha?! if I do that I'll be 195 half way through May so, I thought "What's 30 lbs. from 195?" after doing some really slow math the result was 165. "165?!?!? that's 5 lbs. LESS than my goal weight! BOOYAH!" Then I got to thinking about something else....diet. Right now my diet is, crappy to say the least. I need to work on "cleansing" my system. More so, training my brain differently. And I remembered how good I felt on the "Idiot-Proof Diet", I felt so light and airy all the time and literally didn't crave excess carbs or sugar. SO, to make this long story short (too late!) I'm going to see how much weight I lose in 6 weeks doing the BL: LCW and going on the IPD (Idiot-Proof Diet). Then after my decline to 165, I begin my further decline to 145 where I'll be right smack in the middle of my perfect weight chart.
Holy Smokes! Can you feel the energy?! LET'S GET IT ON! Not sexually (although...maybe...) but PHYSICALLY! (which can still be sexually).
Woo! I'm hyped!:)
I already started today as it is the first day of my twelve weeks. And, well, do you remember said Adam? (See "A Really Long Entry pt. 1") Well, ho, ho, I'm going to try and ensnare him in my lady claws! RA ha ha ha ha ha! yes, I know you've just gotten back from reading the entry and you're thinking "HIM? Why on Earth?" I'll tell you why, that boy be HAW-T! yes, I used GhettoTalk. Anyway, the reason is, Adam liked me when I was chunky (175-190) and was really nice about everything he did. But, another reason is, THAT BOY BE HOT! I could probably fry bacon on him he's so sizzlin'! and most likely he knows that, hmmm, so that means I'm gonna have to really work on my stylin' before trasping over to him and saying quite plainly
"You, Me, Room 202. I'll let you connect the dots." and if he's the same Adam, He'll show up with a Star Wars sleeping bag and his toothbrush ready to have a hotel sleepover. Yeah, sensual. And I'll drool over him as he tucks and untucks his pajama shirt into his pants and I'll bat my eyes as he adjusts his sleeping bag like a KA-Jillion TIMES!
*silent scream inside of me*
Ahem, sorry. Anyway, underlining goal I want you to take from this is.....6 week pound droppage. Okay.

I'd give you part 2, but my Neo is missing, so instead here's a mean n' nasty letter to my local Whole Foods...

Dear Whole Foods,
Now, I know you cater primarily to the people who want to eat organically and save the Earth. That's absolutely fine. But, is there any way you could filter out the crazies?
Listen, I'm an understanding person, I will judge a book by it's cover from time to time but, I didn't need a cover for the folks down at your store.
For instance, an Edward Cullen-esk young man in a turban stopping an entire convoy of shopping carts so that he could Worship in the middle of our aisle? Really? is that acceptable? Or, better yet, the stupid Ladies who go there after their morning jog and decide that it's okay to get their sweaty hands all over the boxes they're not going to even consider buying? Or Jason, my cashier who likes to end my shopping experience with probing little questions like,
"Philanthropical or Charitable? are they the same?"
To which I want to reply:
Listen you hemp-lovin' Hippie! I'm not getting into a stupid debate with you over words! And yeah, they are the same thing. Shut up and scan.

And, after you say something like, Philanthropical and Charitable are vitually the exact same thing, He'll roll his eyes and grab your reusable bags and bag each and every item S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E-L-Y! NO JOKE! "Why is my soy milk in it's own bag? and my goat's milk and zucchini is over here, and my mango has it's own bag? What?" Ever heard of condensing? obviously not.


Oi Ca vah! I know this isn't a weight loss entry but, those people are making me wretch.

What happened while I was away.....pt. 1

!WARNING! DUE TO WEEKS WITHOUT INTERNET ACCESS SARAH HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO WRITE IN HER BLOG FREQUENTLY ENOUGH THEREFORE MAKING WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A SMALL ENTRY INTO A LONG-POSSIBLY BORING- ENTRY. CONTINUE READING AT WILL BUT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED OF IT'S LENGTH.

*Heaves sigh* So, we are now "moved in" and guess what? I'm 231.4 lbs! yay! one of the many good things about this house is that it has stairs so every time I walk down or up them, it's like getting a mini cardio workout. I've even incorporated running up and down stairs into my workout routine. Which will become more intense at the end of November as I want to tone up a bit more for my Grandparents Christmas Party.
One of the reasons I wanted to get in shape was a unique one. Not because I wanted to be seen as sexy or because it was a do or die health situation is, I see all these little outfits on mannequins at the department stores and I want to wear them. Also, I see cute little frilly panties and super comfortable bras and I WANT TO PUT THEM ON but I can't! I'm too big. As of right now I'm wearing a push-up bra that's just a wee bit too small for me. Granted, I have been able to wear some of them since I lost the 30 pounds but, I don't want to have to grab the largest size there is. I'd much rather grab an in between size. The most shattering thing has happened this day:
I bought a size 17 Levi Strauss pair of blue jeans and THEY DON'T FIT! waaaah! *slap* enough! I'm not focusing on the negative here. I am going to note all the happy things of today like, I'm 231.6 lbs. Up two ounces from yesterday but nonetheless I'm still down 5 lbs. from the beginning of this month. I have three trouble areas that desperately need working on: My stomach
My hips (naturally)
My thighs

My stomach and thighs need to be worked on because they're not toning up as nicely as my arms and calves. My hips, just because they're big. They were one of the reasons I couldn't wear the aforementioned Levi jeans. I'm suspecting and preparing myself for loose skin from my arms. Already I'm seeing signs of loose skin. Particularly near my armpits. Sorry you had to read that last part about the whole 'Pit thing. :)
Right now -as I type this- I'm planning out the course of action for the next few months. BY JULY 7TH I WILL BE 70 POUNDS LIGHTER! 65 POUNDS LEFT TO GO!
My goal for December is 10 to 15 pounds. My goal for January is 5 to 10 pounds. My goal for February is 10 to 15 pounds. I did a Body Fat Formula test from one of my exercise books and it was revealed my body fat percentage was 30%. Suh-Weet!
Here's the formula if you want to try:
1. step on the scale and weigh yourself.
your body weight___ X 0.732 + 8.987= ______

2. Measure your wrist at the fullest point.
wrist measurement___ / 3.140 = ______

3. Measure your waist at your navel.
Waist measurement___X 0.157 = _______

4. Measure your hips at the fullest point.
Hips Measurement____ x 0.249 = ______

5. Measure your forearm at the fullest point.
Forearm measurement___ X 0.434 = _____

Now calculate your body fat. On your calculator:
Add the totals for 1 and 2.
Subtract the total for 3.
Subtract the total for 4.
Add the total for 5.

This number is your lean body mass.

Subtract your lean body mass from your total weight.

Body weight____ - lean body mass _____= ____

This number is the weight of your body fat.

Body fat weight ____ X 100 = ___ / Total body Weight _____

This number is youru copy the whole Body Fat Measurement part, paste it in "Notebook" format, print it out and write down all your information. It helps to know because a lot of exercises are tied to Body Fat Percentage. Anyhoo, man! this bra is making my ladies look faboo! sorry! just had to say it.
Anyway, so, this entry is a compilation of two days. One day I was "sad" and today I'm...bubbly? I guess that's what I am. More so I'm just feeling good and energetic. I believe I mentioned yesterday that I was going to tone up and what not for Grandma and Grandpa's Christmas Party, and I stand by it! Starting November 30th I'm going to up my workout with this diet to about 1 hour 15 minutes. The reason for trimming up by then is not why you think. I'm not slimming down to impress my family members rather to stick it to 'em! I have an aunt who has lost a tremendous amount of weight and while she is not mean and snobby per se, she is a bit on the "braggy" side. I can't mention exercise to her without receiving a schpeil about how much weight she had to lose. I think she lost 80 something pounds. Her son, my cousin, lost a huge amount of weight as well but, he's more shy about it. He tends to not want to speak of it much like it was something he does not want to relive. Of course, me and my cousin hardly ever talk save for things like "Merry Christmas!" and that's about it. I can't remember the last time I actually sat down and spoke with him about something as simple as the weather. I do remember watching "Water boy" with him and him asking me what my favorite film was. I was young at the time and replied "Mulan". He said his was -no real shock here- "Water boy". One day next week I'm going to make a huge list of why I want to lose weight and post it. I've got so many reasons. Sexiness, sveltness, mobility, healthiness, etc. I'm going to put them to "paper" so I remember them all. I can pull it from my archive and find a new source of strength to draw from. "FOR THE PANTIES!" I'll grunt as I lift myself up to complete a chin up. This already sounds fun.
My biggest hope is that I'll lose at least 5 pounds from this endeavor. I need to lose more than that though if I want to keep my blog. I really don't want to give up my blog because it's very stress relieving. It also helps me to brainstorm through a lot of my exercising problems.

Well well la dee friggin' well! today I check my emails and what do I find? an email from a certain someone I mentioned a few days ago in my B-Log. Adam.
Yes! THE Adam. The one I was reminiscing about all dreamily? Here is the exact thing my email said:
To: twothumbscritic@gmail.com
Subject: Hi from a friend

Hi it's Adam *last name witheld* from *church name witheld*. Remember who i am? We used to go out when we were like 14 or 15 sumthin like that. i found you on facebook and your email was there so i like thought i give you a call.
Whacha ben up too?

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Yes. What a strange little booty call this is. Is this for real? or is it a trap designed to lure me into his clutches using old memories? PAH! he ain't gettin' this no more! Mamma's got bigger fish to fry!
But, alas, if that were not enough I got onto my Facebook account from the Library's computer and found a notification stating that Adam had requested my friendship. While I thought about what to do with this guy who called me a blimp, I noticed that my Facebook inbox had 1 new unread message in it. SURPRISE! it was from Adam again! Here's what it said:

From: Adam *censored*
Tue 8:34 PM

Hey oh my gosh Sarah! whats up? you still look realy pretty whacha up to? if you don't know who i am we were bf gf when we were younger.

This part of the email didn't bother me but, the next part did.

..remember the sock puppets mr. tube and lady hanes? making out on thecouch? "god save the bean"? jousting in the parking lot? man i miss you we gotta get togeter and see each other again. i'm still at *censored* every wed. and sun. come see me.

Part of me wants to be like "No thanks!" or even "Who are you? I don't remember an Adam *beep*. You must have the wrong girl." make him feel insignificant because he's an arse. My girlfriend B, 'fessed up to giving him a link to my Facebook page because he kept asking to see my pictures again. I must say, he doesn't look half bad himself. He got a six-pack and some muscly arms in my absence. B gave me disturbing news and said he took his cellphone into the bathroom at school with the pictures on it. I was like, don't tell me he's having a tug-o-war in there over me! I don't know whether or not I should accept his friend request. I want to but, I wouldn't talk to him. I haven't responded to his emails and messages. It's been two days since I checked those. He's also turned into an artsy hippie. "Save the whales!" "Love isn't optional" "To truly understand yourself, you've gotta understand the World around you". It wouldn't work as I'm sort of the opposite. My statuses usually say something like "I owe my soul to the company store" "I want candy!" and most famously "she got that weave, weave hanging down her sleeve she got that crunk, crunk and that junk in her trunk she got to roll, roll wit' all dem boys she don't need money when she got dem toys! OH!" yeah. Save the Whales? sure. But I'm not about to go protest by chaining myself to a tree. Or worse, a whale. That would just be too proactive for me. I'd prefer to crank call the Senators and threaten to explode the Eads Bridge than chaining myself to anything or heaven forbid, a march! I also would be more violent than the normal hippie. I'd have a Tabasco bomb waiting in their cars so when they refused to save the whales it'd go off and burn their eyes out. Ha ha ha! save the whales?! you can't even save yourselves! bwa ha ha ha! *cough ahem* pardon, hippies bring out the violent side of me. Now, where were we? ah yes! Adam! Yeah, even if he tried it wouldn't work. Besides one of his videos features him trying to get this waitress to kiss him. What a dork. I'll have to ask him what happened to his waitress girlfriend. Send him an email all like "Oh hey Adam! I'm doing sooo awesomely! everything just fell into place now, I feel so spectacular all the time. How's it with you? and your waitress girlfriend? "
Stick it in, twist, pull out. That's how I play dirty.
I just don't know. My fear is that I'll start dating him again and he'll end up being just like all the other boys. I'll spend more time with my legs wrapped around him, moaning and saying falsity like "oh you tiger!" and "more! oh! yes! mmmm!" our conversations won't be interesting anymore they'll mainly consist of him trying to get me to do something I really don't want to do. "C'mon! you'll only be chained to the whale for 2 hours! what can it hurt? your saving the whales! will you at least march with me?"
Oi. Most likely he'll be like "I just want to reminisce with you. Honest!" and then next thing I know I've got a date scheduled for next Friday at 7 PM don't be late! One of these days I'll find a man who'll stay the same no matter what. My conflict still rages inside of me, accept or deny? accept or deny? I do not know. 'Til tomorrow....
P.S. my weight for today was 232.6 lbs. need to lose a pound to maintain my 5 pound losage.
I hope tomorrow brings a better reading.

Today's weight is 232.2 lbs.
Today (11-25-09) my scale was 230.8 lbs! WOO! I'm going down like the Titanic! I'm really really commited to losing this weight I can't wait to be 170 pounds. Starting November 30 th I'm upping my exercise to push the weight loss even farther. I also checked with my doctor who said that 145 is my ideal weight. It's right in between where I should be. So, when I get down to 170 I might try to get to 145. 25 pound loss. One of the things I'm going to limit extremely is sugar. So, here's a list of things I'm not allowed to drink come November 30th:
Soda ('diet' included)
Lemonade
Juice
Kool-Aid
Apple Cider
Hot Cocoa
Coffee (unless it's black)

What will I be able to drink? Water. Delicious, crisp, the original refreshment, Water. Even at Christmas when Grandma's offering juice with the traditional breakfast I'll decline.
"Water please, Grandma!" I'll say thrusting my glass under the tap. And she'll most likely have something to say but, we'll fight that battle when we come to it. Meanwhile I'll be slimming my body down to 170 pounds. Now, I wrote down "Christmas Break" across my schedule when preparing my aerobics regime but, I'm still going to eat healthy. I'm going to because I want to. This big ol butt of mine! I'm gonna watch it decline! Oh this big ol butt of mine! I'm gonna watch it decline! this big ol butt of mine! I'm gonna watch it decline! watch it decline watch it decline watch it decline!
You can sing that out loud if you wish. It'll be fun! It's very empowering. Especially when sung with a gospel hype, like you're starting a revival. Wave your hands in the air, shake your hips, move your head around, just get dramatic with your movements.
Anyway, I can't wait to cross this river. There's a rainbow on the other side that's smiling down on me.
Yesterday's weight (11-26-09) 231.8.
Today's weight is 231.6. Well, Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone! My family and I didn't celebrate it on Thursday, instead we're opting for Saturday because that's the only day all of us can get together. So, today we're planning and making the meal. Sans Turkey. That's cooked tomorrow morning/afternoon.
Now, I have an issue at hand that needs to be discussed in as private a room as you can get. Shut the door, draw the blinds, take this into the other room if you can, etc.
Okay, now that it's just you and me, I'm having problems with my poo schedule. i.e. I'm not defecating as much as I used to. I tried laxatives but, they didn't really help right away. Of course, they were natural laxes. Anyway, I've only poo-ed three times this week.
There, now you can resume normal publicity. I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest. As I type this, I'm making toast in the oven. "But Sarah, you silly goose! Toast is made in the toaster!" Yes, in traditional homes. But in mine, we're a bit more "Earth Friendly" and since my mother learned that you can cook more toast in the oven with less carbon emissions she's been making it in the oven. In short, she tossed out the toaster.
Today is my Dad's 53rd birthday! Happy Birthday, Papi!

Ew gross! I just caught a glimpse of my belly rolls! BLECH! oh, that reminds me. If you have any links to a website that can help you rid "muffin top" I'd be most grateful and mention you at the table when we go around say who and what we're thankful for. I've got the most horrendous explosion over my pants it's rivaling Hiroshima. (No disrespect for Veterans here, just a metaphor my Grandpa used to use.) On the plus side, it's helped to make my posture better as I have to sit directly upright to look like a girl and not Jabba the Hut. Anyway, I've been thinking about what to say to Adam (see earlier) and so far I've written this letter to him but haven't sent:

Dear Adam,
Hey how're you doing? I'm doing just fantastic! I got my job back as a blimp for the Goodyear Tire company even though I ran away the first time. My fiancee, Derek Jeter, and I have been so busy having awesome sex that I haven't had the time to think of you. But, I'm glad to see you're doing well. I saw that video of you and the waitress, you've changed quite a bit. As for the mention of "Mr. Tube" and "Lady Hanes" I have no recollection of that. And I didn't think I sang "God save the bean" with you. Anyway, glad to hear from you again!
Sincerely,
Sarah Jeter

So, yes. That's my unsent letter to him. No doubt he won't know what the "Blimp" mention is but, if he asks I'll remind him with pleasure. Oi. I know I should just let it go, it doesn't matter he was an arse but, I find it hard to when he's looking right at me and walking in the direction of my punch. Okay, I'm just going to breathe and sigh and try to let go.
Todays weight (11-28-09) 232.8.
Only two days until my exercise regimen ups. I'm excited.
CRIZAP!! 234.4! What the heck? (11-29-09) Okay, I'm not going to dwell on the 2 pound gain because tomorrow begins my 70 pound decline. I can do this, I'm going to do this, I DESERVE this! I can't wait to see my 170 lb. frame! tee hee! all the cute little clothes I'll be wearing! I was looking at this book I bought a while ago called "How to have model beauty, poise, and personality" by John Robert Powers and I want to start practicising some of those ideas. I want to start actually looking like I care about how I look. I do but, I just don't show it too loudly. Anyway, I'm anxious to start tomorrow but that doesn't mean I'm going to put it off. I've wanted this for far too long. I can always picture myself thin, why can't I ever actually do it? Oh well. Wish me luck!! :)
235.0....:(
ARGH! So, my workout went just fandoobydasee but, when my mother came back from doing errands she asked me "Have you had breakfast yet?" to which I replied "Yes." and she looked at me and asked "What did you have?" I replied again "My protein shake." to which she sighed disappointedly and glared in my direction. "You know I like us all to eat together." She growled, I rolled my eyes. It's this speech again. "Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't wait I was just very hungry." she rolled her eyes at me and stormed into the kitchen. "It doesn't matter, we eat together from now on."
The suck. Why does this stupid rule always hop into the path and force me to change everything about old diet plans? I don't want to be an overweight person anymore and I highly doubt I can change that by having cocoa roos in the morning with you. The same thing at Mcdonald's! if I say, order a salad, she sighs and grunts my order like it's a burden. If I start talking about my workout routine she half listens or changes the subject pronto. Why? Anyway, I'm going to make some soup for lunch today. AFTER LUNCH: welp, didn't have soup, instead ate half a peanut butter sandwich and some chips. It was delicious, and the reason I didn't have soup at lunch was because dinner is going to be soup. Potato-onion soup. With bread. I'm not going to eat the bread, even though it sounds good. I can't can't wait to step on the scale tomorrow! whoops!
235.0. That's the scale's reading for today. Same ol' same ol'. Did my workout and felt great afterwards. The one problem that struck hard was I didn't fall asleep until 12:30 something and my alarm goes off at 5:15am. I woke up and got dressed but fell back asleep at 6:30am when I was putting my shoes on. I finally woke up and got up at 8:13am. That time I just forced myself to do it with this guise, "Do you want to be fat forever?"
My answer naturally was 'NO!". I got goin' immediatly. My Mom turned 50 today! (12-01-09) happy birthday, Mom! and happy December to you! Well, I really want to be thin soon. I feel so great when I exercise, I often wonder why sometimes I'll blow it off completely? it's like not accepting a free full body massage!
(12-02-09) 235.2
(12-03-09) 234.8. Well, I'm starting to lose some weight. I stated earlier that I love working out. True, true. I have an outfit that I want to fit into by July 7th 2010. It's a pair of jeans. They look so fabulous I want to wear them! they remind me of classic country girl blue jeans. And that's what I am now you know, I'm a country girl. With my 3 acres of land to cultivate and grow different vegetables and fruit trees. Anyway, I really really hope I meet this months goal! 10 pounds, it's alot but my physician said it could be done healthily by a person of my size. I'm taking some pictures for my Facebook page. I really want to tell Adam to suck a d**k with the whole "I miss you" lies. Maybe I'll say just that.
Dear Adam
Suck a D**k! you are a big mean liar and you haven't missed me. *sticks tongue out*

Yeah! stick it to the man! in other non-D/Bag news, I have developed a gag reflex to bread and doughy things in general. The other day while trying to eat a turkey sandwich I nearly puked. When I ate just the turkey, I was perfectly fit. I attempted to digest the bread once more and there it was again, gag reflex. So, that's a good thing, no? carbohydrates are kinda bad for you and I don't even want to eat 'em. Hooray! I'm growing my nails out and my hair, toord so that'll have to do now. Anyway, I usually like my hair short and sweet but, I'm growing it out to make it easier to pull it back into a bun or something. Right now, it falls in my face when I blink. It's a cute little haircut but, annoying when you're trying to do crunches without eating hair.
Showering always makes me want to lose weight. I get in the shower, look down and I'm like "Phew! I can still see my feet, but what's that white mass of Jell-O? OHMIGOSH! It's ME!" I try to loofah scrub off my fatness but, alas, I'm a loser before I even try. I also can't use a loofah anymore without thinking about the whole Bill O'Reilly sex thing anymore and barfing at the suggestion of that dude getting any. *heebie jeebie* That reminds me, It's time once again for you to make this room private. This is a very personal matter..and DIRTY!


Alone? okay, good. Riddle me this, Batman..Why after exercising am I..horny? something about the moving around makes my Libido shoot up into the stars! it's like "okay, two more reps left..1,2 DONE! *HORNY* MUST.FIND.MAN.NOT.RELATED.TO.ME!!"
literally, I finish moving around and my southern belle wants to dance with a fireman and his hose. I gotta fix that.

OKay, resume normality once again. I'm finished with our personal meeting. Tell the children it's okay to come out from under the bed now. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring a lower scale reading. One that says "233" or something lower if possible! I'm staring at the future pants I want to wear and thinking "One of these days."
Today's weight 234.4 I'm really happy about this one. This morning when I woke up I was weighing myself after I'd peed and I had my jammies on. 236.0 it screamed at me. I was like NOOOOO! but then I realized I had to go drop a kid off at the pool and I weighed myself the way I normally do, in the nude. 234.4 it read three times. Whoopty whoop!
AUGH! today's weight: 235.0 WHAT THE FUDGE?! I only drink water, I count my calories, I workout for an hour and a half every morning except Saturday and Sunday and what does the scale say? 235.0 it should just say "Suck it, Loser!" AACK! I want to lose weight so very very badly. Tomorrow I measure myself, but, I want to also have a smaller number to write down on the paper. :( I feel like my attempts are being thwarted. Stupid Scale. Why do I have that thing anyway? I should really just go by measurements. Maybe that's what I'll do from now on. I'm not gonna worry about what the scale says, I'm going to worry about what the pants size says.
235.4 that's today's weight. So, I measured myself and while I was doing so, I was thinking..What if I adopted a once a week weigh in? Oh man, that'd be hard for me to do but, I'll do it. It'd probably be better for me mentally so I don't march around worrying my little pretty head off. My measurements weren't that good either, but I'm going to make them better. ALOT better. Anywho, I will now only weigh in on Sunday when I do my measurements. No more daily weight postings. Only daily AWESOMENESS postings! I have a cold and my throat hurts like nothing else. I want to go exercise today but, I'm not supposed to and I really can't due to projects being done. I hope one day I'll be slim. Allow me to rephrase that: One day I will be slim. I really hope that tomorrow I'm feeling better sickness-wise.
Welp, Not feeling to good this morning. I still got up and did my workouts, I didn't get on the scale, I had one pancake with 1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter, I've been drinking only water, I should have a smaller number on Sunday. I PRAY I HAVE A SMALLER NUMBER ON SUNDAY!! Or at least smaller measurements. Today I was looking in the mirror while applying chapstick, and I noticed something. Now, you're going to probably say something like "NO YOU'RE NOT!" but I'm not taking it bad, I just realized this:
I'm not super attractive. I'm pretty but I'm not a Hollywood Hottie. The difference to me and the movie stars is make up but, without it I still look beautiful. I'm just not as beautiful as them. I highly doubt any movie starlet has even given herself an at home Brazilian Wax, or done manicure's and pedicure's herself, or has mixed together her own face mask and hair mask and sat in it for 20 minutes. But, this is the acceptance I've come to, even without gobs of time spent on myself, I'm pretty. I don't need to spend a perfectly good Saturday night dunking my fingers into a bowl of hot water, or soaking my feet, or water torturing myself over and over to achieve that natural shine. Sister, let me tell ya, that ain't natural. Anyhoo, today my grandparents came by to drop off some clothes my Aunt had gone through. My grandma was showing me everything I had to choose from and she kept saying "well, mostly Laura could only wear this stuff.." and I kept looking down at my flabby body and thinking :
"I will be rid of this. I will be rid of this and then I can wear all the cute clothes."
But at the same time I kept thinking:
"You know, the river ain't that far from here. You could just jump in and not have to worry about losing that weight."
Yes, I'm suicidal lazy. I just can't wait to wake up one morning and step on the scale and be revealed the magic number. "Sarah!" the scale will say "You did it! you lost 70 pounds! YAY!" and then we'll parade around downtown Saint Louis singing my praise and not eating stuff. Or, more likely, I step on the scale, it'll say "170.0" and I'll say "OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH! I DID IT!!" and my parents will say "Good job, Sarah! We're proud of you!" and then the next day, I'll step on the scale and it'll say "190.8" and I'll cry bitterly. Always the optimist, I pursue my dreams of slim jeans and attractive clothes.
I was doing some thinking and I reckoned that if I ran up and down this hill in my yard 2 times a day, that'd get my heart pumping where it should and if I can keep it up for 15 minutes, that's half a daily workout. I already ran up and down it twice today and was WINDED like never before, but my heart was a throbbin'! like a teeny bopper at a "Twilight" showing.
Man oh manny man! Do I ever want to step on the scale! Today, I woke up, dressed, and skeezied on down to the pumpkin patch (basement) to work out. Unfortunately, today it's raining causing the hill to be sopping wet. I tried to run up it and slid back down causing a huge gorge on the side of it to be formed. So, I didn't want to risk anymore damage to our lovely land. I think that after my Dad wakes up and my sister finishes her nap, I'll run up and down the stairs. I broke my workouts up today. I did PRA in the morning, Pretty Woman Leg Workout in the afternoon, and I'll be running the stairs in the evening/late afternoon. My mom said I looked thinner today. She could be lying, you know how Mom's sometimes just want to make you feel good. OH! and I'm going to begin doing mini 2 minute workouts during commercials when I'm watching TV! It's broken up by legs, tummy, arms, hips, and the best part is -wait for it- I DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE THE COUCH!! whoopty whoop! Trying to keep myself moving all day.
Oh man oh man! I want to step on the scale SOOOOOO very bad! this morning, I had an idea:
After I lose all the weight, I'm going to have a MAKEOVER! cut my hair, get my nails "did", a pedicure, maybe a massage, etc. Then, I'm going to host a virtual Party In My Pants! (P.I.M.P.) ha ha ha! I'm going to look like a weirdo marching around in my big ol' pants! July is going to be AWESOME! I'm also going to make a music video for my blog. OH! I can't WAIT to get Internet access again!! I miss logging in everyday! :(
Today I had the hardest time NOT weighing myself. I kept thinking "Just a peek, and I'll be content for the rest of this week." But, I fought it. Sunday is only three days away, I've waited longer for stuff like that. I've been eating pretty good so far, haven't really been allowed per se to go on a diet, but, I've been making better decisions. I mainly live off of fiber and protein now, causing my poo problem to banish itself. Oh, I want to go jogging so friggin' bad! but I can't and on top of that, my stupid little brother decides that throwing a McDonald's cheeseburger wrapper at my head is the best way to deal with this. Mix it with a little something called a head cold and you've got the makings for an assassination attempt. AUGH! I just want to get a glimpse into the future and see if I do lose the weight! that way I can see if this is even worth it. Man, I just want to start seeing life out of a thinner body. When I lose 70 pounds next year, it will be an official one hundred pound loss. 30 from my first attempt, plus 70 from now equals 100! plus the 25 pounds I'd have to lose to get to 145. 125 pounds is the amount of flab I've GOT TO lose! no if's, and's, or but's! definatly NO BUT'S!! (pun implied). Oh man I have to pee right now but I can't. I'm soo excited for Sunday, sunday, SUNDAY! woo! One of the reasons I wanted to step on the scale again was because my sister asked "What have you been doing?" and I gave her a run down of everything I was doing, and she said that she'd like to start doing something like it. She finished up by saying "Another reason is, you look like you've dropped 10 pounds in a week." I wondered real bad what I weighed after that. I was fri-zeeking out over it. But rest assured muchachos, I shall not set a toe on that scale until sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!! ha ha ha ha!
This is Sarah, signing off and saying good night. Oh man! only two days until the weigh in. I'm planing my exercise schedule all the way into July because "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." And the last thing I want to do here is..fail. I hope the scale has a smaller reading. Mainly, I hope my measurements are smaller. I have been looking in the mirror everyday trying to see the changes. And, I've seen some changes. My hips look smaller, my tummy has definately gotten smaller, and my boobs have firmed up. All welcome changes. I hope to see more in the coming future! woo woo! :)
230.8!!!!! 5 lbs. down in a week! My 10 pound goal is achievable!! I am soo soo revved!! I was so friggin excited when I first stepped on the scale because it read 229.8 and I like, freaked. But, I was stepping on it wrong and it read 230.8!! I FEEL SO HAPPY!! *tears* MY LIFE IS COMING TOGETHER!! I'M GOING TO DO THIS!! :) :) :) :) :) :) I can't believe I did that, 5 pounds down in a week. If I can keep that kind of losage up, I'll be thinner faster than you can say "diet coke". Oh man oh man oh manny man man! :) One bad thing though is, I find myself feeling extremely unsatisfied with my meals at times. Oh well, I'll find a way to combat this. I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT! whoopty whoop I CAN DO IT!

So, after yesterday's fantastic discovery of my disappearing five pounds, I feel more pumped and energized. One thing though, looking in the mirror I still feel and look fat. All I see is rolls and rolls and rolls of tubbiness! I need to really work on my tummy. Obliques, Rectus Abdominus, Lower fibers of rectus abdominus, etc. All parts of my jelly belly. I also forgot to take my measurements on Sunday. Darn it! Anyway, right now I'm lying on the edge of my bed and doing a modified "Mouse House" to help tighten my core. I also might do a few "planks" before officially starting my day. I didn't get to do my stretches after my PRA workout or my 6 minute tummy toning either as Mom got breakfast together and called me in. Oh well, I can do some exercises here in my room. Side raises and twisting crunches are ones that feel the most effective when it comes to my love handles. I had the thinner bottom part of an english muffin with half a tablespoon peanut butter for breakfast today. Man, I really hope I reach my minimum goal of 10 pounds this month! I can do it easily, I know. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! it's only Monday but I can't wait for Sunday!
Happy Thursday! I haven't been able to get on here and write for some time due to the dreaded....CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!! which also explains why I don't get to do ALL my workouts. I usually only do 1 now and that SUCKS! I can just feel myself slipping back into weight gain! Only 4 days until I find out. Yay yay yay!
Okay so tomorrow I find out whether or not I've lost anymore weight! I wanna know NOW!! I've devised a plan, I drink my 8 oz. Slimfast shake in the morning THEN I mix up 8 oz. more and whenever I get snackish or hungry, I just drink some of it and it quells my stomach. I also drink large amounts of water and that helps to keep the ol' appetite suppressed.
Well, I weighed in today. 230.8 lbs. Same ol' same ol'. I'm kind of disappointed but, I'm glad I didn't gain anything. Next week I guess I'm gonna have to hit it harder than I've been. More dietary restrictions and more exercise.

Well, good morrow y'all. It's been a few weeks since I last wrote in. Not having internet is tough on the ol' blog writing business. Anyway, I gained 6 pounds and lost them respectfully. I am now 231.4 lbs. But, guess what! my stomach is flatter than it was way back when. I've discovered how hard it is to eat right when you've got loads and loads of tempting foods in your reach. I did okay at the Superbowl party on the 7th, I only ate three 2 inch squares of pizza, drank nothing but water and had 20 chips TOPS. My downfall was-M&M's. I love the regular M&M's but, I LOVE peanut M&M's even more. But I'm still extremely confident I can lose a huge amount of weight by my birthday! My birthday treat to me is going to be a huge scoop of ice cream with a Peyton Manning on top. mmmmm, yummy. I know, I know, he'd probably never fall for a girl like me. I'm too perverted for his tastes, I imagine. Dude, can you picture Peyton "PeyMan" Manning reading that? Okay, first, can you even picture PeyMan reading MY blog? maybe he comes here for a healthy chuckle.
"HA HA HA HA!! This girl is like a 40 year old woman trapped inside of a 17 year old teeny bopper!! BA HA HA HA!! her legs got so numb in the snow she didn't realize that she'd peed her pants!!" etc. That's an example of what it would be like. I highly doubt athlete's read weight loss blogs, it'd be kind of hard for them to "feel our pain". Well, maybe NFL Linemen not so much. Definatly not quarterbacks, noooo sirree! I'm pretty confident that when a coach says "Boy, you were born to be a quarterback!" they're refering to the fact that THEY WERE PROBABLY BORN WITH PERFECT SIX PACK ABS!! Gosh! they did sit ups in the womb! that fries my beans, man. And I, Sarah, was born with the soft, round body usually given to sewing circle attendants and Chris Farley. I have the body of a Grandma and I'm not even a Mom. This is the reason I diet and exercise. I'd like to be a sexy mama before I'm old enough to be a sexy GRAND-mama. Peas and rice.
Anyhoo, ch'all. I'm going to be 18 and LEGAL!! (woop woop! it's the sound of the police!) so I'd like to be able to do some what was previously illegal stuff, i.e. vote, open a bank account, enter stupid contests, buy cigarettes, buy baking soda, buy Nyquil, etc. Yeah so "have sex with a complete stranger" wasn't on there. I think the youth of America have proven that you don't gotta be 18 to do that jank!
"McKendra! YOUR PREGNANT?! Who's the daddy?!?!"
"Uhm, like, I duh-no."
"What do you mean?"
"Like, he was, uhm, just this guy. Ya know. *sends out Facebook message*"
HOLY MOLY I HATE TEENAGERS!! yes, I am aware that it's hypocritical of me to dislike my own generation but, C'MON! you see everyday what I get to work with! I'm just talkin' 'bout my generation. (I LOVE THE WHO!!! The halftime show was SPECTACULAR!! All the windmills! WOOO!!)
That reminds me, several times Peyton Manning surprised me. Yes. The camera would look at something like, a replay then come back and show The PeyMan giving the 90 million viewers "The Evil Glare of Oh-No-He-Didn't!!". And switching from seeing a guy catch a ball, to that business gave me a jolt!
Man, I feel kind of concerned for the Saints now. Mr. -er, sorry- Godfather Manning might use his one Italian mob connection (Frankie down at "Fazoli's") to have them whack'd.
*shiver* The stare says all, knows all, and commands all. It definatly commanded me outta my pants! unfortunatly, I was unable to oblige him, due to the fact I was around other people who wouldn't have understood. But, know this, if he does that again, I'm not liable for any complaints after I pole dance to "Paradise City" while simultaneously stripping. No, I didn't do it.
It's Peyton Manning's fault.

Well, it's the next day now, February 10th. Yeah, maybe the way I ended that last entry was a little sexually descriptive but, you know what? it felt good to finally get it off my chest. I've found that I'm developing a tiny voice in my gut, it frequently talks to me. Last night, we ate pizza as I said, and we had this conversation while brushing my teeth:
Tummy: Sarah! Saaaraah!
Me: What, Mom?
Tummy: No, it's your Tummy.
Me: Oh, okay. Proceed.
Tummy: Sarah, can you give me two good reasons for eating that pizza?
Me:...uhm, dining with the family helps us stay connected.
Tummy: Okay, valid. Two?
Me:.......It was food.
Tummy: STOP SHOVELLING GARBAGE INTO ME!! I DEMAND CARROTS!!
Me: Your suggestion was duelly noted. The board and I will mull it over for a while-
Tummy: NO! You've gotta give me the REAL good stuff!
Me: Very well.
Tummy: DRINK YOUR WATER!

Yeah, my stomach is a b-word. Nevertheless, I've decided that I'm going to go one whole fortnight without having a grain of sugar. Furthermore, my snacks from now on will consist mostly of vegetables and fruit. I'm experiencing the most heinous caffeine headache right this moment. Continuing, I'm going on a Low Carb-No Sugar plan, que pasa? this also stemmed from a point that Spongebob Squarepants brought up "Sugar turns into bubbling fat, isn't that right, bubble boy?"
Yes. My dietician is Spongebob.

Good morrow, how are you this fine Wintery day?
I stepped on the scale this morning and read 231.0. YAY! my goal that WILL succeed is to be in the 220's by the end of this month. I WILL DO IT! SOCK IT TO IT!

YES YES YESSY YESSY YES!! 229.4!! I feel sooo darn awesome right now. I love looking at that scale, I love how it says 229.4 informing me that I've LOST weight and not GAINED. OH YEAH! I'm gonna be in the 220's by the end of February! *tear* I've been writing my weight down on the calendar so I can look back later and see where and when I lost the most, THEN I look at my exercising schedule for that week and say, I lost 3 pounds, I know what I did that worked effectively and can copy it. I really love jogging, and today and yesterday I went to a fast food restaurant and ordered a salad complete with a bottle of water. Yeah, even with a cheeseburger staring right at me I still get the salad. BOOYAH! and, I must say, Burger King's new "Garden Salad" is the B-zomb. It's incredibly light yet filling. I also adore the container it comes in, I use it to mix up salads and take them on-the-go. Yum. Yeah, they should hire me to do their commercials.
I hope tomorrow tells me something even better! 228.8 lbs would probably be achievable. LET'S DO THIS THANG!

WHOA! AM I A PSYCHIC OR WHAT!? today ye olde scale told me I was 228.8. I'll just let that sink in.....228 lbs. I hope I'm skinnier tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'm...alone. Yes it's true. As charming as I may sound, I will not be celebrating V-Day with anybody. :( But, on the plus side of this, tomorrow is also my grandparents 51st anniversary. Over half a century together and they still love each other. Awwww. :) I really wish I was celebrating this with someone, someone like Jon Hamm or ooo! 50 cent! that would be a very happy Valentine's Day. Anywho, I ate a salad today. Again, it satisfied my very soul. AND I haven't had any sugar cravings since I quit eating sugar. I even made chocolate chip cookies and didn't eat a single chocolate chip or cookie. And the best part is, the cookie jar was right in front of me the entire time. It's like, I actually have willpower or something. Anyway, I've got two books I want to buy:
Half-Assed by Jennette Fulda
The Idiot Proof Diet by India Knight and Neris Thomas
I really can't reccommend them enough. Idiot proof diet is really a "Master your metabolism" only humorous. And Half-Assed is a fantastic weight loss story! if you've ever visited her (Jennette's) website, you'll see that she's got the makings of a movie. I need to post some more photos! show y'all the new house and what not. Oh man, I hope that by the 22nd I'm at least 225! That would be pure bliss!!
Of course, pure bliss would also be 50 Cent showing up to my door on Valentine's Day with a message of "You're the one for me, shortie!" mmmmm. Nothing like a sexual fantasy to end the entry.

Happy Valentine's Day EVERYONE!! I extend my love to all of you. I love you. <3
Today I arose after sleeping on a pillow covered in bay leaves (it's an old Valentine's Day tradition, pin 5 bay leaves to your pillow, one on each corner and one in the middle, and you'll dream of your true love.) and went downstairs to the bathroom, whizzed, then came back upstairs, stepped on the scale, and read:
227.0 lbs
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!
yes, since the beginning of this month I've lost 6 pounds. How awesome is that? and if I maintain that same pattern, I can lose 12 pounds this month! hips hips AWAY! ra ha ha ha!
*takes deep breath of air* AAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAHHHH!
224.4 lbs!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS LOW!! I'M SO FRIGGIN' HAPPY!! CALLOUH, CALLAY!! OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!!! *weeps tears of joy*
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am in the lower 220's and it's not even the end of this month.
Holy Guacamole! I cannot believe this. And I imagine I'll lose even more after I stop being constipated. Yes. I'm constipated. I really need to take a giant poo. Hmm. Maybe I should start taking a daily laxative? I don't know.
Man, can't wait to step on the scale tomorrow! maybe it'll say something like, "170 lbs." WOO!
It's amazing, you know, even though I haven't crapped for like, 3 days I don't feel really sh***y. I feel a little bit less light but, not totally sucky.
A QUICK MESSAGE TO MY READERS:
Guys, you are all the bomb. Seriously, you really make writing this blog worth it just to know that someone out there feels the same way. My_so_called_life, you've been there since the beginning and I wish you the very best on your weight loss. Heck! you've probably lost like, a hundred more pounds than me because you have something I don't have, willpower. ha ha ha! Anyway, you're all awesome for dealing with my paranoia, poo problems, obsession with Peyton Manning, and not checking in even remotely enough. I wish you all the very super awesome best on your weight loss journey's!
We really should work on a handshake.

Well, Guten Tag Froulein's and Heir's. I'm 223.8 lbs. AFTER my poo. Yes, I poo-ed! I'm soo happy! but, before my defication, I was 224.8. EEK! I know my weight is going to fluctuate throughout the week, I just want to make sure I maintain this lossage. I can't believe I'm down 10 pounds since the first of this month. And all I had to do was cut out carbs and sugar? I wish I'd done this earlier! I feel like I should be doing a commercial for Nutrasystem or something. Anyway, I hope I can meet my maximum goal for this month, 15 pounds. Oh that would be soo sweet! I would dance The Dance of Happiness if I did! (FYI: The Dance of Happiness is a bunch of pelvic thrusts!)
Last night, I went to bed around 8:30-ish and this morning, I woke up an hour before 5 am and was more than refreshed and eager to start my day. I think I might have to start going to bed half an hour earlier from now on!
I've been wanting to do something for a while now, Tai Chi. I always pictured me doing it in my room with natural light spilling in. And, I'm alittle embarassed to admit this, a cartoon movie made me want to do it. I watched "Kung Fu Panda" and saw how Oogway (The tortoise) was so laid back and prepared to battle anything that came his way and I thought "I'll bet my diet would go a lot smoother if I had the same mentality as that turtle!" SO: I am going to start doing some Tai Chi to relieve some stress, and to strengthen my willpower. Same with Yoga. I'm going to start doing some more Yoga to help stretch and lengthen my muscles. Maybe meditation? I don't know just yet. Right now I'm going to focus on Tai Chi with the morning sun and Yoga with the afternoon sun. Maybe I'll do Tai Chi before my other workouts! I definatly like doing Yoga during the afternoon. It gives you that time for a well needed breather, to shake off some difficulties before they become too unbearable. Then, I'll crawl into my bed at night all stretched out and actually sleep! ha ha ha! My neck has a huge crick in it today. I probably slept on it wrong during the night. Maybe I slept on my mattress without anything supporting my neck OR most likely scenario, my posture is effecting it. I have some weird posture, let me tell ya, It's like Hunchback of Notre Dame quality!
Once again, I just want to remind you all how awesome I think you are. And I want to give you an eHug. Lean into your screen, wrap your arms around the monitor, and make believe your getting a squeeze from me!
Rock on my fellow "Losers"! Let's have this Party In My Pants (P.I.M.P.)!

Still no internet and I'm going insane!

Okay, I still have no internet due to a life of hectic and frantic days. Hopefully by the end of March I will have my own compy. Yet, here's some good news.

223.0 lbs. YEAH! YEAH!

I really can't wait to upload the entries I've written because they're very juicy. And yes, sexual. Anyway, I hope to see you all in March/April.

Lots of LOVE,

Sarah