Life can get discouraging and send you a lot of bitches to deal with but, you've gotta keep your head up.
Which is hard to do with a caffeine headache that won't go away.
Today I got up at 4:10 AM and waited for my sister to arrive at 5 AM so that we could go jogging/walking briskly at the high school track. It was fun, and we made a pact to lose 10 to 15 pounds by August 14th with an ultimate goal of 50 to 60 pounds down by Halloween. I can feel the electricity in the air! Meanwhile, I sit around at home and have "tiny binges" on stuff like, Cheeseburger Mac n' Cheese. I call them "tiny binges" because it's not what I usually do where I shove handfuls of cookies and potato chips down my throat at a time until my stomach cringes from maximum overload. No, my T.B.'s are more modest than that, it's just little bites of stuff I shouldn't eat.
I've been having some severe body issues, y'all. I see myself as a giant, repulsive blob that blobs around everywhere leaving it's blob residue. Really, I feel like BOB from "Monsters Vs. Aliens" or that worm thingy from "Dune" or Jabba the Hutt, but I really didn't want to use that one. It's so cliche. Like, I don't know how I can still use my legs. I see people weighing less than me using HoveRound's and Rascals and I think "What am I? a friggin' miracle or somethin'?" I witnessed this lady who was maybe 180-200 pounds get out of her Buick and waddle over to the nearest motorized cart and drive off! she was like, 50 years old! she didn't have a handicapped sticker, she didn't have any noticeable breathing problems, and yet SHE HAS TO RIDE ONE OF THOSE THINGS!! what gets me more is that she was taller than me. How the whatsit?! it baffles my wee mind. I can't think of nothin' no how after I see things like that. Like when you see a perfectly fine 6 year old riding in a stroller, your mind just sort of, dies for a second. It flatlines completely.
Anyway, I guess I should stop dwelling on this crap and move on to a more important topic, no not my secret crush on George Decay, but my love for all things Lean Cuisine! (I'll bet you weren't guessing that!)
Yes, it's true. LC and I are having a wild edible affair! I eat it out every night. heh heh, sexual innuendos are fun.
The way it feels in my mouth, mmm! and the portions! they're sooo big! (I apologize if you're eating a Lean Cuisine while reading this.)
Okay, for you I'll stop with the innuendos. But only for now.
What I really like about them is the fact that I can eat a tray of chicken fried rice and only consume 220 calories. It's awesome, and they're ready in minutes! for lunch today I ate their Macaroni n' Cheese and it was delish. I loved it long time! (Listen, I'm sorry alright?!) I didn't feel deprived one bit, which is how I usually feel when eating premade diet food stuffs.
I think I may have found my perfect diet.
Slimfast in the morning, A little "afternoon delight" with Lean Cuisine, and dinner is Healthy Choice or something like that.
Yeah, I didn't even apologize for that last remark you know why? because I want the world to know how good it is for me!
Commence lawsuit filed by Lean Cuisine.
P.S. The security guard at my local Aldi's looks like Yul Brynner. I just think that should be noted.
No comments:
Post a Comment