Shower Epihanies: One year anniversary, not where I wanted to be.

It's coming up on September first, I mean, not for almost a month, but still.

Almost one year ago I embarked on a journey to lose a massive amount of weight, almost one hundred pounds of flab. I really had hoped that by the time this moment came around again, I'd be either in the one hundreds or at least 200 lbs. Instead I've still only lost thirty pounds.

Not that that isn't an accomplishment. Some people put on thirty pounds a year, but it's just not where I wanted to be. It's not sounding so sweet anymore saying "I lost thirty pounds" and people asking "How long did it take you to lose thirty pounds?" and me responding "One year."

Now I know I want to lose this nice and easy and slow, but, that's a little too slow. Although technically it didn't take me one year to lose the weight, it took me roughly six months.

One thing that's been keeping me stuck in this rut is, vacations. My dad is off one week, we dine and stay up late and have fun and what not. Next week, my sister is off, we dine and dine and have fun. It takes me roughly two weeks to recoop after one week of vacation. So when they BOTH went on vacation last June, I gained 8 pounds in one week. How's that for going above and beyond the call of duty?

Now, I lost it, well, almost all of it, I was 227.5 when I went on vacation but, this is wrecking havoc on my body.

Another small goal I'm going to set after I reach this goal in August, is by October I'm going to be 215.

"Sarah, why do you want to be 215 by October?"

I'll tell you. In October I go in for my yearly physical. And this time I'm hoping to avoid recieving "Weight loss and you" pamphlets and "The dangers of adolescent diabetes" mini magazines. I'm hoping that if my doctor sees that I'm making a conscience effort to lose weight he'll let me off with a warning. And maybe a lollipop and sticker.

Going to the doctor's when you're overweight is like being pulled over by the cops when you're drunk driving. You know every single line that's coming.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" says the cop, fixing his belt.

"Because offscissor I'm drivig while I'm druck?" slurs the drunk

"No, um, actually I pulled you over 'cuz your tail lights out but, sure whatever." says the cop pulling out his ticket book.

Of course, when you go to the doctors it's a little more like this:

"So, Sarah, I noticed you've put on a few pounds. *coughlikeahundredfewpoundscough* Are you doing anything about this?" says the doctor writing on his clipboard.

"Uh, nothing really effective. Does sprinting to the bathroom in between commercial breaks count?" says the Me.

"*pity laugh* No. I want you to take these and READ them, okay? Can you do that for me?" Hands me two billion pamphlets all about fatness.

Sometimes I wish they'd go ahead and stop trying to make realistic looking plastic surgery and develop a cure for the common flab.

Man, these shower epiphanies are long winded!!

Sarah