Here we go! Monday is just a few hours away...

Okie Dokie everybody, tomorrow is the big day!! :) I'm soo excited! And I just can't hide it!
But, I should confess that I'm also scared. Of what? a weight loss program? No. I'm scared of the future. What if I DON'T lose this weight? What if I end up failing and giving up?
Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm NOT going to think this way. You know why? because that's just the part of me that doesn't want to succeed. The part of me that told me I was "healthy" at 250. I'm not that part of me anymore. We'll call that part of me "Grendol". Grendol doesn't want me to be happy, or to be healthy. Grendol hates it when I recieve compliments for doing something I've always wanted to do like getting a freelance writer job. Grendol above all HATES CHANGE. When I eat a carrot, Grendol gets mad because I would've usually gone for the carrot cake. In order to survive this weight battle and ultimately win, I must be like Beowulf.
I MUST KILL GRENDOL!!!

Yeah, I compared myself to Beowulf. Grendol's freaking out because that's something I've always wanted to do. It keeps telling me to "Erase! Erase! Erase!" but, I'm not gonna. I'm too hyped up on my excitement about tomorrow and my knowing that by July 7th, 2010 I WILL BE 170 LBS! I WILL BE THE REAL ME!!
For soo many years I've been depriving myself of the life and body I've always wanted, I've been hiding in the layers of fat but no more.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new week, and the start of a new life. If I can make it through this week, I can make it through this month, and this year.

Monday is a whole chance to try again.

Sarah