Sweet Mammer Jammer! how'd it get to this?

So, some disappointing news is that, I've gone up 2 pounds. Some UN-disappointing news is I can tell it's muscle weight! Wanna know why I know?:

I've lost an inch out of my abs. And, my brother can punch me and I don't feel anything.

Pretty impressive, no? I also feel so friggin' sexy! I'm like, "Well, hello! Is your boyfriend here? too bad, 'cuz you're coming home with ME." to the mirror every morning. That's how I start my morning right. I also find myself striking poses that I normally wouldn't strike i.e. the classic pouty face look. I've shown that to SOO many people driving past me.
I hope I can get down to 220. Or at least 220-something. My ULTIMATE goal is : ~170~.
I'm currently at 233.0 lbs. So, I'm roughly 63 lbs. away from goal. That's really great considering I strarted this whole ordeal at 262.6 lbs. (Well, actually, the day I started my very first workout regimen I was 261.4)

Whenever I think of my journey to the ONE-derful ONE-derland, I imagine a rock climb downward. It's like, every rock (we'll use this as a metaphor for day) is a possibility I could slip. The safety gear I've got (i.e. diet and exercise 411) can save me but, what if I break it? I assume it would be on accident but, what if one day in a crazed sugar crash hysteria I end up holding up the local Dairy Queen and reverse all my good progress?
Oi. I hate not being able to cruise through life on auto-pilot. It's always a conscience decision.
Everytime in the grocery store, it's 5 minutes of reading labels like, "Okay, this one has 2 grams of fiber while this one has 5 but, it has 22 grams of sugar while the other one had 10." My gosh! If I die today my tombstones probably gonna read "Here lies Sarah, she tried calorie counting, carb watching, and the famed Hollywood Detox Diet...may she rest with Reeses Pieces".
Really, the way I feel constantly, if I could just get down to 195 I'd be happy. I'd just love to say 'one' and not 'two'. I have no idea way but, 'two' just sounds so nasty.

My size 16 pants are a symbol of hope to me. I haven't been a 16 since I was 12!! and now, I'm aiming for a size 12!! kooky I know!
Everytime I look at my old pants I wonder "How did I get so big and not realize it?" it's because I was in a small diabetic coma from all the chocolate I'd shoved down my hatch. People (friends and family) ask me all the time "How'd you get to be so heavy?" I usually respond "I don't know" because I'm trying to sound somewhat innocent but, the sad sad truth is I knew the whole time. Eating a double cheeseburger, snacking on some chips, even taking a small sip of soda, I knew I was only headed for disaster.
I'm just grateful I realized it before it got too out of hand.

But, I've gotta scoot. I've got to go to work now.

Sarah

I've lost 3 lbs.!! Sh-yeah!

ATTENTION BLOG READERS:

I've lost 3 lbs. finally ending my plateau at 234.6! And all I had to do was cut out two glasses of soda a day. I can live with that! Esepecially with the results I've already seen. As you can see, I was more than confident to go out in my new swimming suit! Sorry about my other picture up there, it's just not cooperating with me right now.

I'm hoping to be down to 220 lbs. by the end of August. That's my new goal now, homies.

Hopefully, between my Burlesque, Belly dancing, and High power workouts I can do it. I'm really loving the soreness in my abdomen and inner thighs right now, I hope it never goes away.

I tried counting calories again this week, and I don't know why but I just can't do it. I end up trying to calculate the calories in a single Cheerio and/ or Corn Chex square, then I write it down so my counting ends up looking really weird.

Here's a little example:

1 cup of Oatmeal Squares with 1/2 cup milk ---- 240 cal.

8 oz. glass of Low carb- Low calorie Cranberry Juice ---- 80 cal.

1 single Grape Nut crumb --- 1/16th of a calorie

2 banana bites --- 5 cal.

Breakfast total : 326.16 calories

Yeah, so maybe I won't be doing that anymore. I also won't be trying to figure out the caloric intake of one bite of scrambled egg.

Anyhoo, I've set my new goal, and darn it! I'm gonna do it!!

Place yer bets now.

Sarah

If you can't sing, hum!

Bad news, y'all. I've got an injury...and the only cure..is more cowbell.
Ha, ha, ha! I wish! It appears (according to mister WebMD) that the symptoms are from a previous injury I sustained while playing Volleyball a few years back.
Patella Formalla or, "My-knee-cap-wants-to-get-off-its-rocker". It usually involves the loosening of muscles and ligaments.
I can still jog, run, dance, and do squats I just have a little bit of an uncomfortable feeling while doing it.
But, since I have to strenthen it up by means of special exercises distributed by my physician, it makes it hard to get in my cardio. Which was what my jogging and running was for.
I know what you're thinking, you're probably thinking that I'm gonna be on bed rest for like, 6 weeks again. Nope! I'll be doing yoga, pilates, and an ab workout series while I wait for my knee to recooperate.
*applause* Thank you, thank you! but, that's not all! *ooo!* How will I make up for lost cardio? swimming. Yes, Michael Phelps'n it up in my backyard. *hooray!* It seems like an obvious answer but, I racked my brain trying to figure out something for cardio while being nice to my knees. And that's why I think I deserve the next Nobel Peace Prize.
So, if I can't sing I'll hum. If I can't eat, I'll drink. And if I can't run, you bet your tube socks I'm gonna swim.
Thank you, and goodnight.

Sarah

Shower Epiphanies: The good, the bad, and the too lazy to try

Yesterday, whilst taking a shower (that's why it's a shower epiphany), I started thinking about exercises (you can't avoid thinking about exercising when you're in the nude) I'd seen but written off as fads or boring.

For example, I'd always seen pilates as something yoga enthusiasts or hippies would do. Now that I do pilates, I realize how fun and challenging it is and I'm sad thinking about how much time I wasted booing it. It was hard to hear my booing mainly because my mouth was probably stuffed full with Oreo's or Cheeto's.

I wasted a good 10 years of my life before I started exercising. Even as a small child I'd prefer reading and watching T.V. to running around playing tag or hide and go seek. But, at the age of 10 I was getting to big for my trousers and the doctor was concerned so mom started making me do a little more outside. I met Shannon there.
Shannon had a life I only ever dreamed of. She did what she wanted when she wanted and never got in trouble if what she wanted to do was against the rules. Shannon was also big like me. Actually, she was a little smaller than me. As our friendship grew so did our waistlines and our parents put us on diets and what not but we still got bigger. Shannon always remained a size smaller than me. But, I felt good around Shannon, primarily because she could get boys to like her and she wasn't restricted by her size. When you're 13 and you say "I'm a size 14" it doesn't sound as bad as "I'm a size 18". Our friendship started to drift apart around the time she went into high school, between boyfriends, homework, and different sports she took up, it became difficult to keep up. Shannon does three different sports at her school: Volleyball, Basketball, and Softball. She's now a lot smaller than me, But, I always cheer for her. Shannon was one person who couldn't be stopped from being herself. She wasn't malicious about it just, she persevered.

So, I wonder what I would be like if I had caught the Shannon 'tude? Sometimes I think I would've ended up looking like Shannon, but I don't know. Shannon's straight as a line body type wise and I'm curvy and round. So, I think it's safe to say, I would've ended up looking like Charles Barkley: The round mound of rebound.

Sarah

Belly dancing and burlesque, Oo la la!

So, the new exercise I've fallen in love with called "Shimmy: The Art of Belly Dancing"

It's an old book from the '80's but man is it COOL!!

When I first found it at the library I thought the lady on the cover was a bit too dramatic for the art of belly dancing, but as soon as you do the first "Tummy Tryouts" you realize that you want to smile just as big and have even more of a look of sheer joy in your eyes than her.

My abs are TIGHT! and I feel so incredibly attractive I'm surprised men aren't throwing themselves at my feet begging for my hand in marriage.
I felt this same way when I tried burlesque last year. Man oh man, when I walked past the mirror I swear I saw sex oozing out of my pores.
It's great too because almost any Britany Spears or Janet Jackson song has an air of Burlesque to it. I could basically turn on the radio and start dancing.

Belly Dancing though, is a bit more exotic. I feel like some island girl escaped to the Midwest to get away from it all. It helps to have a fresh tan, too.
I did some swing dancing awhile ago and it was hard but you felt it. And, it was fun. So is Tango and Lambada. Yes, I said Lambada The forbidden dance!

Well, I should probably go feed the dog his dinner. I want to stop before this begins to sound like a chapter from a dance testimonial book.

Sarah

Defeat the want to eat

Today marks the first week of my NEW eating guidelines. Leaner meats, veggier veggies, and juicy fruits are what I am supposed to eat now.

Last Saturday and Sunday I tested out the portion control guidelines and cursed at the chapter about controlling your sugar intake. I've already lost 2 lbs., yay me!

It's been hard trying to get some exercise. Now that I've got my drivers permit, besides the cardio I give my Mom from imaginary brake stomping and panic attacks, I've been in a seated position longer than I've been in a bike, jogger, or crunch position. Sure, every M-W-F I'm up with my mom and lil' bro'tha exercising but that's not really enough considering I spend more time making sure they're actually doing the movements correctly and getting the full benefit.
When I started the PCG (portion control guidelines) last Thursday, I felt really good! I was smiling while munching on an egg white omelet and drinking naught but purified water from a jug. I'm taking in 1,200 to 1,500 calories each day, and I actually think that might be a little much.
Sound crazy? Here's my reason: On Tuesday, my menu called for Spicy Black Bean Skillet Medley (1/2 cup serving = 400 cal.) which I did not like at all. Instead of corn, tomatoes, and black beans smothered in hot sauce I opted for half a grilled turkey lunchmeat sandwich (1/2 sandwich = 250 cal.) and half a bag of "100 calories a bag: fudge striped cookies" and you've got a delicious lunch for only 300 calories. That day I consumed only 1,000 calories and boy did I feel energetic. I was in a sweeter disposition and actually got along with my older bro'tha! Weird!

I've gotten down 2 lbs. and am now at 236.8. I can't wait to see that ONEderful ONEderland of 170. I can feel it ready to explode outta me and onto the nearest passerby all the time. It's like a stalker, I know it's there sometimes I can see it, but how do I talk to it?
Speaking of stalker, just once I think it would be hilarious to see a celebrity stalking a fan as opposed to vice versa. There's some REAL tabloid news!
THIS JUST IN!! TWILIGHT VAMP HUNK ROBERT PATTINSON SEEN SNOOPING AROUND ALLEDGED VAMP FAN'S HOME!!

I would read that magazine.

Sarah

Bad news and some good news:(

Hey everybody. This is my first entry in the past 3 days, and there's a good reason why I wasn't checking in.
I was getting fat and getting my drivers permit.
Now, I'm really happy I got my driver's permit but, the fatness isn't good. I've gone up almost 5 lbs. 5 frickin' pounds in 3 days what the heck is frickin' wrong with me?
I gotta act fast guys, I gotta find some motivation or at least willpower to stop me from eating so dang much. I figured I'd use a combination of the South Beach diet and Weight Watchers diet as my eating guidelines and that starts Monday but, this 5 lbs. thing is driving me nuts.
I know when I ate out at Arby's the other day that I was going to face some trouble but, the rest of the time I was doing decently well in the fact that I wasn't eating out. Don't I get points for showing some restraint? I know what you're thinking, "Well, at least your not 10 lbs. up. Which is what you were asking for."
I know I'm probably supposed to learn some great karmaic lesson or something like,
"THOU SHALT NOT STUFFETH THY FACE UNTIL THINE OWN BUTT BECOMETH THE SIZE OF PENNSYLVANIA".
Only Pennsylvania? I say to myself, glad it wasn't Texas. I haven't gained much in the way of inches, only a few centimeters in the hips mainly (Curse you "Chunky Monkey"!!).
Today, I got the feeling most guys get when they see a hot girl, like, I imagine that guys get this EXACT saying up in their head.
He was this cute little sexy looking roofer man. Muscle aboundin'. And almost instantaneously, like, as soon as I saw his whole self I was like "Damn! I wanna hit that!" Not physically of course, but physically. *wink wink* Then I felt like a pervert.
Yup. So that was my last three days. How was yours?

Sarah

As promised...Verkouts and measurements (Video)

Okie dokie now folks, here's some photorific photos and measurements for you to take to the bank.

First off, some measurements:


My current weight: 234.8 lbs.
Hip: 49"
Thighs: L/25 1/2 " R/ 26
Abdomen: 43 1/2 "
Arms: L/ 14" R/ 14"



Uh, can anyone tell me why I can't access my photo albums? crap.
Well, I was going to wait and show this to you tomorrow but, I feel bad not giving you guys anything so, here's a video I made for the future, now.
I'm really sorry. I don't know why lil' compy won't let me get my picture.







Comment me and tell me what you think of this video. I thought about turning it into a video contest but, we'll see.

And they're OFF!!

Today was the first day of my New workout scheme.
It kicked my butt!! Ab curls, triceps kickbacks, the teaser, front side lateral raise, downward dog, etc.
I'm feelin' good! I feel like a million, nay, a billion bucks! my biceps are sore and my butt is burned. Someone call Arnold Schwarzenegger 'cuz his 'guns' just got served.

I imagine back in the ol' days, when people worked their rumps off in the blistering sun and sometimes came really close to dying from famine and locusts, the feeling after a thorough workout was taken for granted. Just like we take for granted A/C, cars, and Burger King.
To them that feeling was simply called "Monday" or "Cleaning out the barn".
What would they think of this world now? What would they think of the past 2 generations that've never known hunger or REAL war-time sacrifice? I almost want to invent a time machine, go back to say, the 1900's and bring back some people to marvel at the America we've created. Yeah. We did that!

Anyway, I'm going to be posting a picture of me for this month, along with measurements tomorrow, so, mark your calendars.

Sarah

"I should like me, like me."

So, today while tooling around on the web while doing side curls, I came across a blog being written by an overweight teenager like myself.
She was writing about self acceptance and how you should feel when you look in the mirror and what not, one of her quotes that I'm diggin' is "I should like me, like me.".
While she was all for weight loss, she was totally against it when it came to vain purposes.
While I will say that weight loss for vain reasons is not nessicarily the best way to go into it, I'd be a hypocrite. I'm not just losing weight for health reasons, -granted, that is why I started- I'm also losing weight to look prettier and sexier and more feminine.
I'm fabulous the way I am right now, can't really say I don't think I'm hot. But, I'd like to be 'Fab' not 'Flab'.
We do however, need people with views like hers to help keep all the teenage females in a proper mindset.
"I am sooooo fat." is something girls say to themselves way too often.
Girls, If you're 5'6" and 110lbs. you are NOT fat. You're a -pardon the description- weirdo.
You obviously need to get your vision checked or something.
I don't know why women in general have this view of themselves.
Losing weight when you -like me- need to lose it, isn't bad. Losing weight when you want to tone or firm up a little, still not bad.
But ladies who're 5 lbs. underweight and still think they need to lose 5 lbs. , That is bad.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some Christina Aguleira to sing.

You are beautiful, no matter what they say! yes, words can bring yoou doooooowwnnnnnn!
you are beautiful, in every single way! no, words can't brring yoou dooooooowwwnnn! No, no, no!


Sarah

Just once I want to be the hot girl!!

Woe is me. I'm looking for a new style and look for my hair. Really, I'm just looking for a new color.
Anyway, I really am beginning to hate hanging out with my friends who make attractiveness sound like a curse. Puh-Leese! I'd love to feel like the hot chick in the group of friends instead of the fat one or the 'mother hen'. Cat calls and flirting? how is that soo bad? it's hard to talk to the girl who's only been hit on like, three times in her entire LIFE.
Oi Gevalt!
For example, one of my friends said she was at McDonald's ordering lunch when she noticed the guy next to her was texting "Hot chick standing next to me".
I wanted to ask "Where is said McDonalds?" but instead replied "What an A-Hole!".

I can't talk about this anymore! Let's move on!

So, tomorrow I begin my exercise program with my Mom, brother, and sister.
I'll be doing Pilates, James Bond workout, and boot camp/cardio/aerobics.
Needless to say, I'm psyched.
I'll be exercising from 6am to 8am. By myself from 6 til 7, with my Mom from 7 til 7:30, and from 7:30 til 8 with my brother, Dan.
Then around 1 or 2 o' clock in the afternoon, I'll workout with my sister. It's a good thing I love moving around so much.
My goal is to be 15 to 20 lbs. lighter when I go in for my physical in October. That's roughly 4 months away, so let's say I lose 5 lbs. a month, I should be good to gizo.
I have a super hot doctor, and I know this'll make him at least show some emotion.
(I don't think I'd actually like to go out with this Doc, -besides the fact that it's against the law-he's always super monotone and boring!)
200 is the number I'm aiming for at the end of this year. Then, 2010, I want to get down to 170 to 150.
Hopefully, losing it slow and easy will help me retain some of my non-loose skinness. I don't want to have any plastic surgery in my life, so, I want to make sure I keep things nice 'n toned up.

Anydangway, if you've got any tips on how to keep things toned, please email me at:
twothumbscritic@gmail.com
Also, if you've got ANY tips on eating guidelines, I love to hear them!

Sarah

Quick question before lunch.....

I forgot to say something in my blog, and being pressed for time, I thought I'd make a quick video while making my lunch. Lunch contents: Grilled cheese sandwich made of low carb bread and low fat cheeses. Also featuring, 1/2 cup Pop Weaver Lite! air popped popcorn, & 1/2 cup cottage cheese. Yes, I DO like cheese. I like it very much.
P.s. the sound is kinda bad, you might have to turn it up a bit.

I don't want to be anorexic

Recently I've getting a lot of crap for being so "Skinny". Well, I guess to my mothers standards I am skinny But still, it's no reason to accuse your daughter of being anorexic.

Oi!

Yesterday, I went and saw the Saint Louis Awesomes uh, I mean Cardinals battle it out against the San Francisco Giants. While I was at Baseball Heaven I decided to get one of those cute little STL helmets filled with ice cream. The middle-aged dude making the food (sorry, the rhyming was unintentional) asked me if I wanted chocolate or vanilla (like he even HAD to ask!) in my helmet.

After he made the fabulous concoction, he asked me "Are you losing weight?" since I've never in my life met this guy before today, I was shocked.

"Yeah, I've lost a little bit already." I told him. He gave me a thumbs up. "You've got a glow about you that my wife got when she lost weight." he said, giving me $15.00 change. "Keep up the good work, you look great!"

I was flabbergasted! nobody besides my immediate family members and the mirror had noticed I was looking much more svelt and sexy. Then it caused me to start wondering if anybody else had noticed I was thinner, surely the grocery store had noticed. I'm there at least 4 times a week. But, nobody except this vendor guy had said anything. I felt special. And I noticed my glow in the bathroom later on, I really did look fabulous!

Nothing gives you a good nights sleep like recieving a compliment from a complete stranger.

And the Cardinals winning 5-2.

I want to drop my pants.....

size. I'm currently 235 lbs. and in a size 16. I'm only one away from my goal size, but, as it turns out a size sixteen isn't so teeny as it appeared at 246. I'm hoping to get down to a size 14/ 12 by December.
Losing weight has somehow made me a fitness guru. Now, whenever people (in my family, especially) want to start working out they ask me for advice. While I'm all to happy to help, It's kind of strange.
Think about it, almost a year ago I was 261lbs. and unable to walk up stairs without gasping for breath and screaming "Bloody Murder!" now, I'm 235lbs. and all of a sudden I'm Ms. BodyBuilder? granted, I have to say I've lost alot of inches and gained alot of muscle and tone but I know people who're skinnier than me and more toned than me.
I think it comes from the fear of being judged. Naturally people assume a fat person isn't going to judge you because they're judged themselves. Not that I'm going to judge them for coming to me, I'm gung ho over the situation I just think that you might be robbing that person of a chance to show off their skillz.

Yes, I spelled it with a 'Z'.

Another thing civilians frequently want to know is why I'm taking my own sweet time getting thin? I've lost the weight slowly because I'm hoping for very little loose skin. Trying to tone as I go and what not has actually been working but, I'm not going to see as much loose skin over a 25 lb loss.

I'm finding dumbbells and running shoes are my favorite things now, as well as Punk Rock Aerobics, Kathy Kaehler, Steve Zim and Pilates. Really anything that will kill my butt afterwards leaving it a burning cinder. I love the pain after a good, thorough workout.
"MMM! the burn means it's working!" I say to myself, sweat dripping off my face similar to the landing scene in Airplane.

I'm going to lose weight at a slow pace, because like the tortoise, "Slow and steady wins the race".