Sweet Mammer Jammer! how'd it get to this?

So, some disappointing news is that, I've gone up 2 pounds. Some UN-disappointing news is I can tell it's muscle weight! Wanna know why I know?:

I've lost an inch out of my abs. And, my brother can punch me and I don't feel anything.

Pretty impressive, no? I also feel so friggin' sexy! I'm like, "Well, hello! Is your boyfriend here? too bad, 'cuz you're coming home with ME." to the mirror every morning. That's how I start my morning right. I also find myself striking poses that I normally wouldn't strike i.e. the classic pouty face look. I've shown that to SOO many people driving past me.
I hope I can get down to 220. Or at least 220-something. My ULTIMATE goal is : ~170~.
I'm currently at 233.0 lbs. So, I'm roughly 63 lbs. away from goal. That's really great considering I strarted this whole ordeal at 262.6 lbs. (Well, actually, the day I started my very first workout regimen I was 261.4)

Whenever I think of my journey to the ONE-derful ONE-derland, I imagine a rock climb downward. It's like, every rock (we'll use this as a metaphor for day) is a possibility I could slip. The safety gear I've got (i.e. diet and exercise 411) can save me but, what if I break it? I assume it would be on accident but, what if one day in a crazed sugar crash hysteria I end up holding up the local Dairy Queen and reverse all my good progress?
Oi. I hate not being able to cruise through life on auto-pilot. It's always a conscience decision.
Everytime in the grocery store, it's 5 minutes of reading labels like, "Okay, this one has 2 grams of fiber while this one has 5 but, it has 22 grams of sugar while the other one had 10." My gosh! If I die today my tombstones probably gonna read "Here lies Sarah, she tried calorie counting, carb watching, and the famed Hollywood Detox Diet...may she rest with Reeses Pieces".
Really, the way I feel constantly, if I could just get down to 195 I'd be happy. I'd just love to say 'one' and not 'two'. I have no idea way but, 'two' just sounds so nasty.

My size 16 pants are a symbol of hope to me. I haven't been a 16 since I was 12!! and now, I'm aiming for a size 12!! kooky I know!
Everytime I look at my old pants I wonder "How did I get so big and not realize it?" it's because I was in a small diabetic coma from all the chocolate I'd shoved down my hatch. People (friends and family) ask me all the time "How'd you get to be so heavy?" I usually respond "I don't know" because I'm trying to sound somewhat innocent but, the sad sad truth is I knew the whole time. Eating a double cheeseburger, snacking on some chips, even taking a small sip of soda, I knew I was only headed for disaster.
I'm just grateful I realized it before it got too out of hand.

But, I've gotta scoot. I've got to go to work now.

Sarah